Fathers and sons
by Sarrabr4
Summary: Based on episode 6x05 Fathers and sons. Adam and his dad are undercover on the same gig but the ending isn't quite the same.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination. Chicago PD is NBC and Dick Wolf property.**

 **A/N: Ok so a friends of mine on Twitter, Amy, had an idea of a Burzek Story, because she loves them as much as I do so I decided to roll with it and see where it takes me. It's based on episode 6x06, Fathers and sons but I decided to put a Burzek spin to it(will NOT write the Upzek scenes to go with it). Multi-Chap.**

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One, two, three. That's the number of shots that rang into Adam's ears inside that warehouse. When the silence momentarily settled in, His legs moved on their own, the adrenaline driving him. He made it to his dad in a few strides and Adam placed his hands on the wounds he could see, panic setting inside his body.

"Dad, don move. You're going to be ok."His dad nodded, Adam mirorring the gesture. "Burgess, call an ambulance." He yelled and all he could do was look at his dad, not registering the call to made on the radio.

"Where was he hit?" She tried to assess him but couldn't because Adam was hovering over his father's body. "ADAM." Shesaid more forcefully. "I heard three shots, where was he hit?"

"I can't see the third one Burgess." His eyes were stinging and he blinked to stop the tears from forming. Kim prodded, Robert's breathing more laboured.

"Take it easy Mr. Ruzek." She pleaded with him, still not finding the third bullet hole. "Maybe the third one didn't hit him." Kim concluded as they heard the sirens closer. Ambulance 61 had gotten the call and Brett and Foster rolled the gurney inside the warehouse.

"What do we have?" Foster took the lead, knowing Brett's involvement with Intelligence.

"Three shots were fired, I'm trying to stop the bleeding. Please help him." He begged Foster.

"We've only found two gun shot wounds, but I can find the third." Kim explained as the rest of the unit was taking.

"Okay." Sylvie came to take care of Ruzek's dad too. "Foster, put a line in and we're going to put him on IV and pack the wounds. Kim, help me slide the backboard under him. Sylvie rotated Robert Ruzek on his side and Kim pushed the board under him, Adam pushing it too.

"Adam, you can ride in the back with me." Sylvie looked him in the eye to make sure he was listening. "Kim, in the front with Foster, we're going to Med." Kim made sure that Adam moved a foot forward in front of the next. No matter what their relationship status was at the moment, she wouldn't be anywhere other than at his side, giving him all her support. Kim closed the doors behind Sylvie and Adam and jogged towards the front. As soon as the side doors were closed, ambulance 61 sped towards Med. Foster gave them the call to warnd them of their arrival.

"I hope he's going to be ok, for Adam's sake." Kim whispered, keeping her eyes on the road.

Adam took his father's hand in his own. "You're going to be ok pops. Brett's going to take very good care of you."

Sylvie moved the shirt aside and tried to assess the situation with clearer eyes. "We're going to do everything we can to help him." The monitor was showing sinus rythme so it scared her a little less. The drive wasn't very long until the ambo came to the stop. Foster came to open the doors and helped Brett lower the gurney. Adam jumped off right after her and Kim came to his side.

"You have to let them work." They followed closely behind as the girls rolled him in the ED, Dr Choi, Dr Halstead and April took care of treating him.

"Adam, look at me." Kim could sense the distress in his shoulders and when the double doors behind them opened, she didn't need to turn around to know that the rest of Intelligence had walked through. Adam finally looked at her, specks of dried blood on his cheeks and his eyes blood shot. "Will and Ethan are going to take really good care of him. Let's get you cleaned up." Maggie motionned for them to take the doctor's lounge but just then, the door to Baghdad opened and his dad's gurney was being rolled out.

"What's going on?" He asked frantically, Kim linking her fingers through his, bracing for the news they were about to get.

"We're bringing him to the OR and Dr Rhodes will perform the surgery to remove the bullets." Dr Choi gave them the news.

"Did it hit any vital organs?" Adam's voice was hoarse.

"One is lodged in his abdomen and the other one in the kidney but he's stable so you can go up to the OR and wait there, they'll update you as soon as they can." Adam nodded, not sure if he could trust his voice right now.

"Thanks Dr Choi." Kim thanked him for Adam and suddenly Hank Voight was at his side.

"Hang in there kid." He clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Your old man is as tough as they get, he'll be ok." Adam shook his head in an affermative way as tears flooded his vision. Kim and Kevin shared a look and Kevin pulled him instinctively in a hug, Adam finally sobbing.

"Don't give up dog, we've got your back." He released Adam and Kim moved to face him.

"Come on, let's take you upstairs." He didn't object and followed her to the elevators, everyone else following behind. They were settled in the waiting room, Hailey and Jay sitting next to each other, his jacket drapped over her shoulders while Kevin, Antonio and Voight sat side by side. Adam couldn't sit still so he took to pacing. Kim watched him as he did but her eyes couldn't stay away from his hands that were covered in blood. "Adam." She called after him but he wasn't listening, his mind on his dad who was in surgery only a few meters away from them. "Adam." She was now at his side, taking his hand in hers. He finally stopped his pacing and looked at her.

"Yeah?"

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up." He looked down at his hands and let her guide her towards the first bathroom they saw.

"What if he doesn't make it?" He chocked up as she turned on the tap.

"Adam." Her heart broke for him but she needed him to listen to her. He cupped his cheeks and made him look at her. "You're dad is tough and you heard Dr Choi, he's stable. You have to keep good thoughts."

"Ok." She pressed her forehead to his and made him take deep breaths with her.

"That's it, slow breaths." When she was sure that he was ok, she let go and watched him as he watched the blood off his hands. The water was running red and she watched him scrub them down. When he was satisfied with their state, he turned the water off and dried his hands off. "Thanks for being there." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"I'll always be there for you Adam, always." She pulled him into her arms and he wrapped his arms around her waist, finding comfort in her presence. They stayed like that a few seconds before Adam pulled away ever so slightly.

"Kim." He pushed a strand of hair and put it behind her ear. Her breathing hitched and the gravity of the situation wasn't lost on her but her heart would always have a soft spot for Adam Ruzek, her love for him still present. His lips were about to brush against her own when her head took the lead again and she took a step back.

"We should get back out there in case ther's an update." She walked out of the bathroom, leaving him alone with his thoughs. He walked out mere minutes later and when they locked eyes, he sent her an apologetic look and took a seat next to her.

She rubbed slow circles on his back, their intimite moment a few minutes before in the back of her mind again, her only concern right now was to confort him. He settled his elboys on his knees and his hands clapped together under his chin and he waited, his eyes on the OR doors. A whole hour passed before Conor Rhodes made an appearance. Adam quickly stood and Kim was at his side in seconds.

"The surgery was a success." He smiled at the whole team, Adam releasing a breath he hadn't noticed he was holding in. "We managed to remove both bullets and he is stable but I'll swing by later to check on him."

"Thanks doc." Adam shook his hand firmly.

"Don't worry about it. He's going to be settled on the fourth floor, he'll be outin a second." Conor left the whole team as they engulphed Adam in a hug and pats on the back.

Kim had her hand intertwined with Adam's when everyone pulled him in for a hug and pats on the back. She was squeezed with him but she didn't mind one bit. Adam's dad was out of surgery and stable and that's all she cared to think about.

"Come on, let's give them some room." Voight told his whole team. "We'll come check on you in the morning."

"Thanks Sarge." They shook hands and everyone trickled out, Hailey giving him a hug last as she let him with Kim. Minutes later, Adam's dad was wheeled out of the OR and Adam was at his side in a second. Kim followed closely behind as they made it to the fourth floor and he was settled and the monitor hooked to his chest. The nurse told him to press on the bell button if he needed anything before she left the pair alone. Adam pulled a chair next to the bed and sat down, taking his dad's hand. Kim took a spot behind him and put her hands on his shoulder.

"See, I told you he'd make it." Adam chuckled softly at her words. "He's a Ruzek. Bullet's don't stand a chance." She kissed the top of his head.

"I know I said it before but thanks for being here, it means everything."

"It's not because we're not together anymore that I won't be there for you." She ran her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and enjoyed it, his nerves calming with each movement. Silence between them stretched a while longer as Adam looked at his dad's form in the bed. He was so much paler than usual but his chest was rising and falling slowly.

"You gave me a scare there pops." Adam's breathing was a bit laboured, emotions building up in his chest. Kim gave his shoulders a reassuring squeeze. "Open your eyes so I can yell at you for being so damn reckless." His father had left the room but had re-appeared last minutes as the shots were fired. "Come on, don't check out on me just yet." Adam took a deep breath and suddenly, the monitor started beeping and the sound was ringing in his ears. Kim applied some pressure on Adam's shoulders as she realized what was going on but Adam sat still, the sound of the flat sound ringing in his ears, everything going slow motion in his mind.

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 **A/N: Oops! I couldn't help myself, the idea of how to end this first chapter came to me as I wrote the first lines of it. Feelings between the two ex lovers were palpable but papa Ruzek's faith hangs in the balance. Will he make it or is this the end? If you liked this chapter, leave me a review(even if it's just to call me a total BITCH) haha, I want to know what you guys thought. - Sarra**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter, either on here or on Twitter. It's always nice to have these kind of reponses for stories. So I decided to go ahead and write chapter 2 right away, hope you enjoy it and not kill me haha.**

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The room was suddenly swarmed with personnel and the motions pulled Adam out of his trance. He stood up and took a step towards his father's bed but Kim pulled him back.

"Adam don't, you have to let them work on him." She pleaded with him.

"One mil of Epi." Rhodes called aand the nurse pushed the meds in his access.

"Help him." Adam's eyes were filled with tears and the panic rose in his chest again. Rhodes looked at him and back to his patient before he returned to performing CPR, another nurse bagging him and pushing air in his lungs. The line was still flat on the monitor and Conor asked for another round of epi before he requested the paddle's, doing everything in his power to save him. "Come on dad, don't do this to me." It took everything in Kim to be able to restrain him but the fear and sadness was settling in her heart with every second that passed without the monitor going back into sinus rythme.

Minutes passed and still nothing was going on. The line stayed flat and the beeping monotonus. Kim's eyes filled with tears as Adam's body shook in sobs in her arms, Conor and the rest of the medical staff stepping away from the bed. Conor didn't look Adam in the eyes as he said the words.

"Time of death, 20:47." He finally looked at Adam. "I'm really sorry Adam." He moved passed him, clapping a hand on his shoulder. Everyone walked out of the room, giving them some time alone.

"Adam." Kim put a hand on his shoulder, not knowing what to say to him right now.

He took a tentative step forward, his hand shaking lightly as he rose it to the bed, his fingers brushing lightly against his father's still ones. "No, that's not possible." His fingers wrapped around his father's and he shook them lightly. "They said he was stable." Kim took the few steps seperating her from Adam and stood by his side, linking their fingers together.

"Sometimes." She trailed off, her eyes filled with tears and no real explanation to give him. "It was his time Adam." A tear rolled down her cheek and her other hand instinctively moved up to wipe it as Adam's body started shaking violently, overtaken by sobs. He pulled his hand away from hers and pressed both hands against the gurney as he cried. Kim had never seen him that way and her heart was shatteringin small pieces. He pressed his head in his father's chest as Kim rubbed his back, letting him evacuate the tears. She knew that only time could make the pain less but right now she knew it would be hard as hell.

"WHYYY?"His screams echoed off the walls of the quiet room.

"I don't know." Kim really didn't know what to tell him right now. "Do you want me to get you anything? Call anyone?"

"I want him back." He turned around and faced her, his eyes blood red.

"I know." She couldn't take it anymore and pulled him to her in a hug, giving him all the support he needed, even if he didn't know how to voice it right now. When the sobs turned into hiccups, she ran her fingers through his hair

"Would you mind?" His voice was muffled against her neck.

"It's ok, I got you." She pulled away from him and cupped his cheeks. "You're going to be ok, I promise." Her eyes were still misty and his dry, blood red still. She kissed his forehead and left him alone, closing the door behind her. She let out a shaky breath as Dr Rhodes came to see her.

"How's he holding up?" He had his hands deep in his pockets as he looked past her to Adam who had pulled the chair back to the bed.

"Right now." She turned to look into the room too. "I don't know how he's going to get through it." She sighed.

"Keep being there for him Kim, it's all you can do right now." He put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "He can take all the time he needs."

"Thanks Conor." She gave him a grateful smile before he left. She looked at Adam a few more seconds, his body overtaken by sobs again. She took a deep breath and walked in the hallway as she made the phone calls. The first was was made to Voight, giving him the bad news. He insisted that she stay with him for as long as he needed her and that he would check in the morning with her for another update. She asked him to start to coordinate something with Trudy for the funeral, knowing that Adam wouldn't be in any state for now to take care of any of it. She walked back to the nurses station to find out what happened in these kinds of situations and she went back into the room quietly, not wanting to scare him. "Hey."

"Hey." His voice was strangled and he didn't dare to look at her. "I don't even know how I'm suposed to tell my sister."

"I'm there if you need anything."

"Can you stay with him?" That one request pulled at her heart. The man she loved more than anything was hurting and lost and she didn't know what to do to take his pain away.

"Sure." She watched him as he left the room and leaned against the wall right outside. She looked attentively at his body language. His muscles would tense, his chest would heave every once in a while and she could see the tears falling on his cheeks. "Please give me the strength to help him through this." She whispered to whoever would listen. He returned ashortly after.

"My sister's on her way with my mom."

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Please." He begged. She nodded and took a seat next to him. He took her hand in his after a few seconds. "I don't even know what I'm supposed to do now."

"I asked Voight to check in with Platt for some arrangements. I figured you could need a hand there." At the mention of Voight, he stood straighter.

"You should go, the team probably needs you." His words were conflicted but she wasn't going to tlet his vulnerable state dictate anything.

"I'm not going anywhere. Whatever you need, I'm there for you. Intelligence can function without us." She promised him.

"Thanks." They stayed together in silence while they waited for his sister and mom to arrive. When they did, Kim sliped out of the room to leave the family together to grieve. She stood outside with her arms wrapped around her middle, wondering how she was going to stay strong for him. She sensed a presence on her right and looked to find Kevin there. She put her head against his shoulder and sighed. "How am I supposed to do this?"

"I'm there for the two of you too. It's going to be hard but we gotta be there for him, for whatever he needs." She hummed in response and closed her eyes for a few seconds. His mother stepped out and went to the nurse's station and returned shortly after. The three friends locked eyes together and the two boys nodded at each other. Clearly they didn't want to intrude on this family time, the three of them needing to rely on each other to go through it all so they simply waited. They waited while Dr Rhodes cames and talked to them. They waited while the nurses rolled the machines out of the room and finally they waited behind the family of three as Robert Ruzek was prepped and taken to the morgue by one of the orderlies.

Adam walked towards them and pushed his hands in his pockets. "I guess this is it." He looked at his shoes.

"What do you need?" Kim asked him, taking a step forward towards him.

"Um. I think I'm going to head home."

"I'll follow behind you." Her gut was screaming at her not to leave him alone.

"No." He finally looked up at them. "I just, I need to be a lone for a little bit."

"Adam." Kim all but pleaded with him.

"I'm fine Burgess." He pulled his hand out of his pocket and took hers. "I'll call you in the morning." He smiled sadly.

"Ok." He walked passed them and they turned to follow him as he walked off the floor.

"I don't like this." Kevin knew his partner and he could see he was closing himself off.

"Neither do I but we'll see first thing tomorrow." Atwater hummed his answer before he guided her outside, just in time to see Adam's car peel out of the parking lot. The road back would be long but the friends made a silent promise to keep a close eye on him.

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 **A/N: Ok so I know, this chapter is shorter than the first one but I thought it was important to being able to see that moment, independant of the rest. Please take a few seconds to review before you go, I love reading your thoughts. - Sarra**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: Thanks for the review on the previous chapter, it's really appreciated. I'm happy that everyone is liking the relationship between Burzek and the support they have for each other. Of course, Adam is in a dark place right now and it'll be a long way back but I'm not giving up on them. I'm sorry if there's some typos because as some of you know, I sliced my right middle finger really badly and it's hard to type without it.**

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Adam sat in his car and closed his eyes. This was not how he expected his day to go and right now, his emotions were all over the place. He turned the keys in the ignition and after backing out of his spot, peeled out of Med's parking lot. His eyes stung with tears as he drove through the streets of Chicago. His heart hurt like it had never hurt before and he didn't know how to deal with it. Once he was inside his place, he closed his door and the bang made him jump involontarily. He walked around his empty apartment and made it the kitchen, grabbing himself a beer. He downed it in one long shot and took a second one, making his way towards the couch. The second one went down surprisingly well and he repeated his actions until the eight beers that were left in his fridge were done.

He stood, closed his eyes to stop the wave of dizziness that came over him. He made it to his fridge again and as soon as his hand grabbed on the handle, his eyes found the two pictures that adorned it. One was of him and Kim, her arms were wrapped around his waist and she was laughing as he kissed her cheek. He hadn't had the heart to take it off, his feelings for her were still intact even after the break-up. The second one was a picture of him and his father taken a few years back at a CPD bbq, the two of them smiling. The emotions hit him like a wave and a piercing scream left his lips as he emptied the contents of his counter.

"WHYYYYYY?" He was breathing hard as tears fell from his eyes. He got no answer in return and he simply continued on his blind, drunken rage, everything under his touch flying to the ground. His breathing was laboured as he fell to his knees.

Kim and Kevin returned to the district but the bullpen was quiet. The rest of the team was hunched over some paperwork and Voight and Antonio were in his office. When Voight looked up and saw them, he motioned for them to come inside.

"How's he doing?"

"Not so great." Antonio looked at her as she leaned against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Where is he now?" He stood from the couch and stood in front of her, his hands rubbing her arms.

"He went back home, said he wanted to be alone." The rest of the team had made it to Voight's office.

"Think that's a good idea?" They turned at the sound of Jay's voice.

"He didn't give us much of a choice. He said he'd call us tomorrow morning." Kevin told them. "He peeled out of Med's parking lot."

"Give him a bit of time." Voight told them. "We just have to be there for him, whatever he needs." Everyone nodded and left the office to return to their paperwork. Voight eyed Antonio and Kim and decided to leave them alone, closing his office door behind him.

"Talk to me." Antonio insisted.

"I've never seen him so lost Antonio." Her eyes were filled with tears and she furiously rubbed her eyes in an attempt to stop them from falling.

"It's ok to be worried Kim. And I know that you still love him so it's harder for you." She finally looked up in his eyes, a look of surprise in her own. "It's ok, I won't tell." He chuckled

"I didn't think anyone knew other than Kevin."

"The two of you will be ok. Just keep being there for him and if you need anything, and I mean anything, don't hesitate to ask." He pulled her into his arms for a hug. She wrapped her arms around his wait and mumbled a thank you in his chest. He waited until she stopped crying before releasing her.

"Thanks Antonio."

"No problem." He smiled at her. "come on, let's go finish this up so you can get some rest too. They walked out of the office just as Platt made it up the stairs to the bullpen.

"What's wrong?" Kim culd see the creases in her forehead from where she stood next to Voight's office.

"There's been a disturbance call coming from Adam's address."

"I'm going." Kim had moved forward before Trudy had finished talking.

"We're coming with you." Antonio and Kevin told her.

"We'll keep you posted." Antonio grabbed his coat and the three were out the door. Antonio put the sirens on as they made the drive to Adam's place. Once they made it on the scene, there was already a police cruiser.

"Stand down." Kim was the first one to step out as soon as Antonio cut the contact.

"I can't do that." The officer told her.

"She said stand down." Antonio growled, not giving the guy an option.

"Let me go up there." Antonio nodded and she went up the stairs, two at a time. When she made it to his floor, she found his door closed. She suspected that he was the sole responsible for the disturbance but she didn't want to startle him. She knocked on his door and waited. "Adam, it's Kim." She tried called through the door but still got no answer. She tried the knob only to find it unlocked. "Adam." She pushed the door open and that's when she saw the extend of what had happened.

His place wasn't very big so she had a full view of all of it. There was pieces of dishes and pots on the ground, the small shelving unit in the living room was emptied of its content. "Adam." She tried calling him again but she didn't get any response. He was siting on the couch with his head in his hands and she could see his shoulders shake so she decided to retreat to the hallways and called Antonio and Kevin with her two way for back-up if ever things went south.

"You ok Burgess?" Kevin asked her as he made it to Adam's floor.

"Yeah." She kept her pacing. "No." She finally looked up at Kevin and Antonio who were giving her a worried look. "He trashed his whole place and he's just sitting on the couch. What do I do?" She looked between the two for some advice.

"Do you want me to go try to talk to him?" Kevin asked. They were partners and they had this connection between the two.

"No." She made the decision. "I have to go in there. Just, stay behind me just in case."

"Ok." They both said at the same time. The three of them walked back inside, Kim in the lead. She made her way to him slowly. She took a seat on the living room table and looked at the broken man in front of her.

"Adam, it's me, Kim." He finally looked at her but his eyes were blank. "What hapened?" She tried but she didn't get an answer. "Adam, you need to tell me what's going through your mind."

"I'm all alone." Kim was thankful there was no sound in the appartment because she's not sure she would have heard it.

"Oh Adam, you're not alone." She pulled him to her as he started crying again. She looked over to Antonio and Kevin as their heart sank for their friend. "Come on, you're coming with me." Both boys were wondering what she was doing.

"Where?" Adam was drowning and she couldn't just stand there and watch him sink.

"I am taking you back to my place." She helped him up and guided him towards his room, Kevin following behind. She left the two boys alone as Kevin helped him back a bag, Kim going to see Antonio who was still waiting at the front door.

"You ok with this? I could take him too."

"I have to do this Antonio. I have to be with him every step of the way. It's going to be hard, for both of us but that's what I have to do.

"Ok. I trust you but my offer still stands. If you need anything, help or even a break, you call me."

"Thanks Antonio." Kevin and Adam returned about ten minutes later.

"We've got you." Antonio pulled him into a hug before releasing him. "Let's go." Kim made sure that the place was locked before the three of them made their way back downstairs. The drive to her place was spent in complete silence, Kim keeping an eye on Adam. They all went up to her door to make sure they were ok and Kim helped Adam inside.

"We're good." She turned to look at the boys.

"Are you sure?" Kevin questionned her. "We can stay longer if you need us."

"No, we're good, thanks Kev." He pulled her into a hug. "Call me if you need anything."

"I will." She waited for the door to be closed before she gave her full attention to Adam. "Let's get you settled." She helped him in the guest bedroom and sat next to him on the bed.

"Thanks." He simply said.

"You don't have to go through this alone Adam. I want you to lean on me through all of this, do you hear me?"

"Yeah."

"I'll let you get settled, call me if you need anything?"

"Yeah. Thanks again for picking up the pieces."

"I'll always be there for you." She pulled him to her and kissed his temple. She released him and gave him some space to get settled.

She watched from the kitchen as he moved around the room and changed into some pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt before he lied down on top of the sheets. Sheonly hoped that with time, he'd be able to pull himself out of the darkness with their help.

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 **A/N: So i finally made it to the end, not without a lot of frustration with my finger issue. I wanted to have them be together in the same place to be able to see how they interact together in this. Hope you guys liked it and please leave a review before you go, I always love to read your thoughts. - Sarra**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: I want to thank everyone for their continued support of this story. No matter if you review or not, I see every favourite and follow as well. I'm really happy that everyone is liking this story so far.**

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Kim woke with a start and looked at the alarm clock. The red numbers blinked three and she cursed under her breath before sitting up. She had waited for Adam to fall asleep before retreating to her own bed and that had been a long process. He had stopped tossing at around one, clearly trying to fall asleep but unable to. She contemplated going to see him to see if he needed anything but she figured that a little bit of space to breathe might be what he needed. Now that she was up though, it didn't seem like the best idea. She could hear him tossing and turning in the room next to hers so she pulled the sheets off her legs and padded toways him. It was clear that he was having a bad dream by the way that his body was moving so made it to him and sat down on the bed making as little noise as possible.

"Adam." She whispered in the dark, putting a hand on his shoulder. When he didn't wake up, she gave his shoulder a light push.

"DAD." He yelled, sitting upright, his shirt drenched in sweat.

"Adam, it's ok." She pulled him against her chest and wrapped her arms around her torso. "I got you." She rocked him as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She closed her eyes to keep her tears at bay as she felt him shake in her arms.

"It keeps playing in my head." HE mumbled in her neck.

"Take slow breaths." She waited until he did as she instructed him before she pulled away slightly. "I'm going to grab you a glass of water and start the shower, I'll be right back." He nodded and she left quickly in the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and stopped in the bathroom to start the shower. She looked at her own reflexion in the mirror and sighed. Dark circles were already starting to form under her eyes but she would have to wait. Adam was her main focus for now. She splashed some cold water on her face and turned the shower on before she retreated back to the room that would be Adam's for the time being. She handed him the bottle of water and sat down next to him. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I woke you Kim." His fingers were playing with the paper tag of the bottle.

"It's fine." She gave him a small smile. "Come on, let's get you out of this shirt." She helped him stand and her hands came to rest at the hem of his shirt. "Sorry." She took a step back, realising that it wasn't her place right now to do that.

"Don't Kim. It means everything that you're making sure I'm fine." Sometimes she felt he was in a good place and some other times, she thought he was too far gone. She didn't know what it felt like to lose a parent but she was learning along with him the stages of grief. She stepped out of the room and headed down the hall to the kitchen. She started a pot of coffee while she waited for Adam to take a shower. He stepped out of the shower and noticed the light in the kitchen so he padded her way. "You should go back to bed Kim." His voice bounced off the walls from the silence in the room.

"I'm good." She pushed a cup towards him as he took a seat, running a hand through his hair. "Just how you like it." She smiled.

"You remembered."

"Not a hard order to remember Adam." It wasn't much but the fact that he was talking was a step in the right direction. "Do you want to talk about it?" She ventured, taking a sip of her own cup.

"I just keep seeing what happened in the warehouse. It's just." He trailed off, looking into his cup. "It never ends well." He simply said, not wanting to delve into that right now. "Did Voight call you?" He voice dout loud as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Not yet. I'm sure that Kevin and Antonio filled him in"

"Ok." He took another sip of coffee before getting up. "I'll let you get back to bed, it's been a long day." She was about to protest but decided against it. She didn't want to push him right now so she decided to let him set his own pace, she just had to be there for him when he was ready." She waited to make sure that he was sleeping, or at least hoping that he was sleeping before she turned in herself.

Her night was far from restful as she slept with an ear out for any kind of distress from Adam. She got up after only a couple of more hours of sleep and slipped into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She walked quietly to the room Adam was settled in and she was glad when he looked peacefully sleeping. She made sure she left a note for him in case he woke up and she hadn't returned but she had a few errands to run and had to make a stop at the 21st to give everyone an update. First stop was the district and Platt. As soon as she saw her, she pounced.

"How's boy wonder doing?" Platt had always had a soft spot for Adam and the woman's heart was breaking for him.

"As good as can be expected." She sighed. "It wasn't an easy first night." She admitted.

"Are you taking care of yourself Burgess?" The older woman could see the dark circles under her eyes.

"As much as I can." She didn't want to lie because it would be useless, Platt would see right through her.

"Alright, Randal and I will bring some food over tomorrow, keep you fed."

"You don't have to do that sarge."

"No argument from you Burgess." Kim sighed, clearly she wasn't going to win.

"Ok, thanks." She patted the front desk and headed up the stairs to Intelligence. She missed this pace but she needed to be by Adam's side. "Hey." Everyone looked up from their desk as they heard her and Kevin was the first one to greet her.

"How's our boy?" He rubbed her back.

"He's struggling." She inhaled his scent. She was happy to be able to count on her best friend right now. "I can't stay long, I just wanted to update you guys and fill up my furlough papers."

"How'd it go last night?" Antonio asked as he leaned against his desk.

"He had nightmares. I had to make him shower in the middle of the night after a bad one and he didn't fall asleep until a bit later."

"And you?" Voight came out of his office, his hands in his pockets.

"Slept a couple of hours after I made sure he was asleep and didn't really slept all that well after I sent him back to bed.

"You gotta take care of yourself too kid." He motionned for her to follow him in his office. "Is there anything else we can do for you?" He motionned for her to sit on the couch and he sat next to her.

"Tell me what I'm supposed to do." She finally broke down and he rubbed her back, a rare moment of affection coming from him.

"Just be there for him Kim, that's all you can do right now but if you need anything, you have to lean on us, we're there for the both of you."

"Thanks Sarge." She took a few deep breaths and wiped her eyes before sitting straighter. "Any news on the service? I think it would help Adam a lot."

"Trudy is working on it, I'll keep you posted when I have more details."

"Thank you Hank." She was grateful to have the man on he rside right now because that was the part about this that she had no idea of how to handle.

"Anytime kid. I got all your furlough papers done, I just need you to sign them."

"Thanks, it means a lot to me and I know it'll mean a lot to Adam." They both raised from the couch.

"Stop thanking me and get out of here." He chuckled as she signed the papers. "We're family and that's what families do, they take care of each other." She nodded at him and left with a promise to keep them all updated, Kevin promising to stop by later in the evening.

Adam woke up with his head pounding. He blinked the sleep away but his mind was a bit fuzzy. He didn't know this room and then he remembered he was staying at Kim's. He swung his legs to the side and stood, making his way inside the appartment. He was sure he'd find her in the kitchen but instead he found a note.

 **You were sleeping soundly so I didn't want to wake you. I'm out for a few errands but i'll be back before lunch. Kim**

He was thankful for this woman so he decided to text her .He looked through her fridge and decided that he'd make something for lunch. He wasn't in any kind of mood for anything big but he owed it to her to be a somewhat normal guest.

She walked inside as he put the food on plates. "You didn't have to cook Adam, I could have taken care of it."

"It's the least I could do." He set the plates on the table while she put the food she had purchased away.

"I didn't know that I had what it took to make thatalfredo sauce." She chuckled as she took a bite.

"I had to improvise a bit."

"It's really good." She smiled at him. "So, did you manage to sleep a bit?" She questionned him.

"The shower helped. It cleared my head a little bit but I know it won't be that easy."

"Baby steps Adam." He nodded and they ate the rest of their meal in silence. "I know it's not easy Adam but we need to talk about a few things." She tested the waters.

"I know I just, not today, please?"

"Okay." They both came to a silent agreement that they would adress this first thing in the morning. "Are you up for some company?" He nodded. "It's just Kevin." She could see the fear dancing in his eyes at the thought of being around people. "I'd make us General Tao chicken and we could grab a few beers and watch tv. That ok?"

"Yeah. Kevin is good."

"Ok." She smiled at him and they spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch in front of a movie until Kevin could make his way over after shift.

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 **A/N:Sorry it took so long for an update, still having issues with my finger. Please take a few seconds to review before you go - Sarra**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: Ok so first of all, I want to thank everyone who read, favoured and followed me and my story, It makes me super happy. Second, since I started this story because I love Burzek so much and that I miss them even more, I'm going to slowly work up to them getting closer this chapter as Adam keeps struggling over the death of his father, Hope you guys enjoy it.**

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"Hey, Adam?" Kim poked her head around the kitchen wall so she could have a clear view of him still on the couch, the first Die Hard playing on the screen.

"Yeah?" He questionned without even looking at her.

"I'm going to step out to grab a few missing ingredients for tonight's dinner. Will you be ok alone until Kevin arrives?" She questionned him.

"I'll be fine darling." She knew he said it out of habit and that they weren't together but it always made her smile.

"Ok, I'll be right back, Kevin shouldn't be too long now."

"Sure." He gave her an absentminded response, his tone indicating he seemed ok with the time alone. She grabbed a gracery bag and she was out the door. He made sure that he heard the front door open and close before he stood up, releasing a shaky breath. He turned the tv off and closed his eyes, images of his father invading his brain again. He took a few deep breaths and opened his eyes again. He knew that the following days would be hard for him but he needed to try to be strong. He pushed himself up from the couch and made his way to the room that was his for the time being and grabbed some fresh clothes and headed for the bathroom. The shower had helped greatly so he hoped that he could get his head on straight for both Kim and Kevin so they could have some kind of good evening together.

He let the hot water run against his body as his hands touched the cool tiles of the shower in front of him. Every muscle of his body was tense and he knew they'd be like that for a while. He thought he heard some knocking but when it stopped and didn't start again, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the hot mist.

"Yo Ruzek, you in here?" He finally heard Kevin's voice through his mind's haze so he turned off the shower and found a towel to wrap around his waist.

"I'll be out in a minute." He yelled through the door. He quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before stepping out of the bathroom, running a hand through his still wet hair. "Kev." He pulled him for a hug.

"You look a bit better."

"Kim helps a lot. Thanks for having her back."

"Got both your backs. Beer?" He raised the six pack he had brought with him.

"Just one. Kim doesn't need a repeat of yesterday, I owe her as much."

"She's worried about you dog, we all are."

"I wish she didn't." He sighed. She had already done more for him than he deserved after everything he put her through.

"You don't have the right to ask that of me Adam." They both turned at the sound of Kim's voice behind them, neither of them having heard her come in. She stood in front of them, two grocery store bags at her side with tears in her eyes.

"Kim." Adam stood but she had already turned around, making her way towards the kitchen. He took a deep breath and looked at Kevin before heading her way. "Kim?" He stepped into the kitchen and waited for her to acknowledge him. When it was clear she wouldn't, he walked the few steps seperating them and stopped her in her movement to put food in the fridge. "Kim." He put his hand on hers.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "What?" She turned to face him.

"Talk to me." He took her hand in his and closed the fridge.

"This isn't about me Adam." She insisted, a tear finally falling on her cheek.

"You're putting your life on hold because for me." He started, running his thumb against her knuckles as she wiped her tear away.

"I haven't given up on us Adam." She finally admitted. "I want to help you through this. I want to be by your side when things aren't so bright and I want to be there when they get better but you can't stop me from feeling what I'm feeling." She was letting her guard down for the first time in a long time around him and it would either make them stronger in the end of break them complately."

"I'm sorry." He pulled her into an embrace. Her hands were against his chest and his around her waist. "You need to promise me that you'll talk to me or Kevin if it gets too much for you, promise me." He whispered to her ear.

"I promise." She mumbled into his chest.

"Good." He kissed her forehead. "For the record." He cupped her cheeks and looked her in the eyes. "I haven't given up on us either."

"Ok." A small smile formed on her lips at his own revelation.

"What's taking you guys so long in there?" Kevin stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing the scene in front of him. "Oops, my bad." He started backing out of the room when Kim pulled out of Adam's embrace.

"Don't." Kim chuckled. "I'll get dinner started, you guys can go watch some tv."

"No way, we're helping." Adam navigated around her to finish putting the groceries away.

"The best you know how to cook is linguine alfredo." Kevin teased his friend only to recieve a grape thrown at him.

"HEY, enough you two." She laughed as Kevin grabbed Adam in a headlock. "Either help or get out of my kitchen." She knew it wouldn't last very long but she was happy Adam was laughing for a little bit, the next days would be hard on him. The boys let go of each other and Kevin grabbed two beers, kissing her cheek and leaving.

"You sure you don't need any help?" He stood next to her, leaning against the counter.

"Yes, I'm good." She gave him a side smile. "You two go have fun, I'll call you when it's done." She promised him.

"Ok." He kissed her temple and he was out of the kitchen too. She enjoyed the sounds of the two boys watching what sounded like a football game on tv. They were so competitive together and she felt this was small steps in the right direction for Adam. He needed to know that they were there for him in the good and the bad times. It took her about thirty minutes before she called them to chow and the three enjoyed a fun dinner filled with Academy stories and patrol incidents of Kim and Kevin's earlier days in the streets of Chicago.

"I got the dishes, you two go relax in the living room." Kevin shooed them away as he took care of the dishes, giving his two best friends some time alone, hopefully so they could talk some more.

It didn't take very long before he returned and he found the two of them on the couch, a movie started. Kim was leaning into his side with her head against his shoulder and although he knew their road back wouldn't exactly be easy, he was happy that they were taking baby steps back to each other.

Kim fell asleep against Adam halfway through the movie, Kevin having gone home because they had shift in the morning. They had argued over moving her and Adam had won in the end. He turned the tv off and simply watched her sleep. Her hands were tucked between her thighs and her head was on his shoulder so he simply looked at her for little bit before he slowly shook her awake.

"Let's get you into bed." He shifted so he could get her in a different position so he could stand.

"Mmm, no, here is good." She mumbled in her sleep. He stood up and helped to lie her down on the couch before he scooped her up in his arms and made his way towards her room. He managed to pull the sheets down with some difficulty but he lied her down on her bed and when he raised the blanket higher against her shoulders, she stopped him. "Please stay."

"Get some sleep." Although they had an honest talk for the first time in a long while, some part of Adam was still scared that his heart would be broken again so he tried to take baby steps back to her to ensure that his heart wouldn't suffer the same way as it had in the past. "I'll see you in the morning." She rolled on her side and he waited for her breathing to even out before he kissed her temple. "I love you darling." He knew that she was asleep and that she wouldn't hear him but deep down, that's how he still felt for the girl in front of him. They weren't ready yet and he was ok with that.

He made it to his room and stripped down to his boxers before slipping under the covers and hoping for a better night of rest than he had gotten the day before, knowing the following days wouldn't be easy, starting with his talk with Kim in the morning.

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 **A/N: So this chapter was a different kind of pace for the two of them. Grieveing isn't the same for everyone and emotions go on a rollercoaster from day to day so I'm trying to porytray it all while they navigate their unresolved feelings for each other. I really hope you guys liked this chapter and please drop a few line to tell me what you thought about it. - Sarra**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: As always, thank you so much to everyone for the lovely reviews you left on the previous chapters, it means the world. This chapter will revert to a bit of a darker turn because Adam's not out of the woods where his grief is concerned. Enjoy.**

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When Kim rolled to her other side and her eyes blinked away the sleep, she noticed the numbers on the clock. It was almost nine and she was surprised that the whole apartment was still basked in semi darkness, not a sound to be heard. She pushed the covers from her body and rose quietly from the comfort of her mattress. She reached for her robe and padded her way inside the hallway. It was mostly quiet but she could hear noise coming from the kitchen. She leaned against the wall as she watched Adam move around, the smell of bacon and eggs making its way to her nose.

"Morning." She croaked, prompting him to turn around.

"Morning sunshine." He smiled at her. "Hungry?" He questionned as she walked farther inside and took a seat at her island.

"Yeah." She smiled back at him.

"Good because it's ready." He pulled toasts out of the toaster and placed them on the plate before putting it front of her.

"Thanks." She pulled the plate closer to her as he set a steaming cup of coffee in front of her.

"It's the least I can do for you letting me use your spare bedroom." He leaned against the counter with his own cup of coffee in his hands.

"It's nothing." She insisted, putting some food in her mouth. He watched her in silence as he sipped his coffee. This was always his favourite part of the day when they were together. She was fresh faced and had a permanant smile on her lips and he suddenly missed her. "What?" She asked after taking a sip of her cup.

"You're beautiful." He simply said.

"Adam." She looked down out of embarassment. "Don't." They had yet to talk about their status and they had more pressing things to talk about.

"I'm just saying it as I see it." He could see the blush creep on her neck and he smiled at the fact that he was the one to put it there.

"We're not ready for this. You're not ready for it." Kim finally looked back up at him.

"We don't have to rush it this time." He set his cup down and leaned against the island in front of him. He reached for her hand and for a few seconds, she didn't move it. She looked at their joined hands and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

"I know that Adam but it's not our time yet." She wanted nothing more than to start fresh with him but he was vulnerable ,too vulnerable. "These next few days won't be easy Adam and I'm going to be by your side the whole time. Let me help you get through this and I promise that we can talk about us and where we go from here." Adam could do nothing else but nod. He knew she was right but it still stung.

"You, eh, said you wanted to talk this morning." He shook his head to lift the fog she had planted in it and his heart.

"Yeah." She pushed her empty plate of food away from her. "Platt texted me last night." She suddenly admitted.

"About what?" His curiosity was peaked.

"I asked her and Voight some help on your behalf." She said sheepishly.

"Come again?" He suddely fealt some anger rise inside his chest.

"Adam, you were beside yourself. I just asked them for some help with the funeral, some contact information. I didn't know what you would need." She watched him as he stood quickly.

"I don't need this shit." He put his cup of coffee down roughly on her counter, droplets of coffee spurting around.

"Adam, don't go. We need to talk about this." She followed him as he walked to her door and pulled it open roughly.

"We don't need to talk about shit." He stormed off, not even registering Kevin on the other side of the door. Kevin and Kim locked eyes and Kim knew they had to let him go.

"Let him cool off." Kevin walked inside and wrapped Kim in a hug. "What happened though?" He asked as she pulled away from him.

"I just told him that Platt texted me last night, that I asked her for help where the funeral was concerned and he just went off on me. I'm scared for him Kevin." She finally admitted.

"He's got a lot going on. How're you holding up?"

"It doesn't matter, I have to go after him." She turned on a dime and slipped on some shoes, grabbing onto the door handle only to be stopped by Kevin's hand on her shoulder.

"Burgess, don't."

"No, I'm not letting him do this alone." Tears stung as she tried to keep them at bay.

"And we won't. Just give him some time." If Kevin knew one thing was that Adam had a tendency to run when things didn't go his way but this time he also knew that he was filled with grief, not thinking straight. "He won't go too far."

"How can you be so calm?" She couldn't understand how he could be so calm like that when she swore her heart was about to beat right out of her chest with fear.

"One of us had to be. Don't worry, I got both your backs." He guided her towards the couch. "Sit right here and I'll get you a cup of tea." He watched her as he moved around to her kitchen. He knew both his friends were hurting and he promised himself he'd be there for them both. "You sit tight and i'll be right back." She nodded, her eyes trained to the closed tv in front of her. "You good?"

"Yeah." She finally looked at him as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Call me if you find him, please."

"Will do." He walked out the door and went in search of Adam.

Adam got in his car and drove off. He didn't care where he ended up but he knew he needed to get out of there. He didn't really know why he was so upset with Kim but the fact that she had gone behind his back angered him. He drove around the city and ended up in front of Molly's North. He had far less chances of bumping into someone there than at Molly's so he parked and headed inside. He counted his lucky stars that no one he knew was there so he took a seat at the bar and ordered shots.

"Another one." He looked at the barmaid who hesitated half a second, angering Adam further. "Just leave the damn bottle." He watched her look at the other guy behind the bar with her and she put the bottle in front of him.

"If you need anything else, just flag me." She gave him a sweet smile and left him alone. He downed shot after shot, hoping to drown what he was feeling inside. The only one who really had his back was gone and the girl he longed to be with didn't share the same feelings.

Kevin drove around town, not knowing where else to look. He had tried all of Adam's usual spots, then he tried his apartment and his dad's place but came empty. His last stop was Molly's and he kept his fingers crossed, stepping inside and scanning the place, no sign of Ruzek. He made his way towards the bar where Herrmann was bartending.

"Yo Herrmann!" He waited to be acknowledged and the older man finally made it to him.

"What can I do for you Kevin?"

"Have you seen Ruzek tonight?"

"No, is everything ok?" Christopher knew about Disco Bob's death.

"Not sure. You mind giving me a call if you do?"

"Sure thing." Kevin was almost at the door when Herrmann called him back.

"Everything ok?"

"I think your boy is at Molly's North. I'll let you check it out." Kevin nodded as Chris said something into his phone before he left in a sprint. The drive to Molly's North was short and sure enough, Adam's Charger was parked in front. As soon as he walked in, his voice betrayed him.

"AWW COME ON!" Adam yelled over the crowd, trying to reach over the bar.

"You can't do that." The girl manning the bar looked like she was scared so Kevin hurried, pulling Adam back.

"Come on Ruzek, you're done."

"FUCK OFF KEV." He tried shoving Kevin but his attempt failed, Kevin's larger frame damn near impossible to move in his present state.

"Can't do that. Come on, let's go." He pulled him roughly to his feet, Adam giving up a fight.

"I said leave me alone."

"Not going to do that. You can either come quietly or I can just haul your ass out. You're damn lucky Herrmann isn't pressing charges." Adam gave one last shove against Kevin before he was pushed towards the door. "Get in." Atwater was less then impressed right now. He knew his friend was in pain but this was certainly NOT the way to handle it.

Adam did as he was told for the first time in the evening and sat in Kevin's car. He pinched the bridge of his nose and emited a low growl. "You're such an ass Kev."

"You'll thank me in the morning." He simply said as he started driving. He knew that he'd be pissed but he didn't care. It didn't take long before Adam realized where they were heading.

"I'm not going back there. Turn the car around Kev."

"It's not up for discussion." He wasn't going to give him any options tonight, not after the way he had acted towards Kim or his attitude at the bar. Once the car came to a stop, Adam refused to get out. "You're seriously starting to piss me off." Kevin growled as he opened the passenger door and pulled Adam out. He was acting like a stubborn teanager with a chip on his shoulder and he was all but done with it. The ascension to Kim's apartment was painful but Kevin let himself in, knowing she was still awake and pushed him past her and to his room. "You better get some sleep because you got some groveling to do in the morning." Adam simply slammed the door in his face.

Kim watched the whole thing from the living room, tears pooling in her eyes. She took a few deep breaths while she let Kevin take care of Adam. She knew he was in pain but it still hurt all the same. Kevin returned and they went into the kitchen for a little bit more quiet.

"Where did you find him?" She took a seat at her island.

"Almost didn't. I went to Molly's and Herrmann hadn't seen him but he got a call from Molly's North. He was three sheets gone."

"Damn it Adam." She cursed under her breath. "What's next?"

"I'm going to swing by first thing tomorrow and knock some sense into him."

"You think he's going to be ok?" She looked in the direction of the bedrooms where it was already quiet.

" I think so. Just give him some more time."

"Thanks for helping him out."

"I told you before, I've got your backs." Kim excused herself to see if Adam was ok and when she made it to his room, she found him face down on the bed, his feet dangling from the side, a soft snore coming from him. She tip toed inside and put a blanket on him before she closed the door, leaving it slightly ajar and returning to the kitchen.

"He's out cold."

"Not surprised. You'll be ok?" He looked down at her as her eyes lingered on the hallway.

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks for helping us out." He pulled her in for a hug and she held onto him tightly.

"Always. Get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning."

"I don't know what I would do without you." She whispered into his chest.

"I love you too." He chuckled, kissing the top of her head." She walked him to the door and locked up as soon as he was gone. She made as little sound as possible on her way to her bedroom and made sure Adam was ok before retreating to hers. She was lying on her back, her face in her hands, taking slow breaths, trying to calm herself but it was no use. She became strangled by sobs as her breathing became hectic. She didn't know what to do to help Adam and only hoped that tomorrow would be a better day for him. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep, her body and mind totally exhausted.

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 **A/N: What had started as a good day turned out pretty bad with Adam getting plastered. I know I'm hinting at getting them back together and the goal is exactly that but I want to make them their way slowly back. Please take a few seconds to review before you go, I always love knowing what you guys think - Sarra**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: As always, thank you to everyone who left kind messages on the last chapter and on twitter, it means the world.**

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Adam shifted in bed, his head pounding hard in his skull. He groaned as he turned on his side, his body hurting from having slept half hanging off the bed. He sat up only for the pounding to intensify.

"Son of a bitch." He growled, rubbing his temple. He stood and padded down the hall, not even looking at the clock. The sky was grey outside. He made it to the kitchen and found a tall glass of orange juice with two ibuprofen and a note. He took a sip of the glass and took the note in his hand.

 **Hope your head is ok this morning. Take these, they'll help.**

 **I'll see you in a little bit.**

 **Kim**

He took both pills and popped them in his mouth, downing the glass down and setting it in the sink. The shower was his next natural step. He stayed in longer than he should, the hot water getting through the haze his mind was still in. He ran his fingers through his still wet hair as he pulled a new shirt over his head. He expected for Kim to be mad at him after what happened the previous night and although the note didn't say all that much, it was obvious that she was avoiding him. He tried to keep his mind occupied but the silence inside the apartment was suffocating him. He left without bothering to leave a note and he grabbed his car keys before he walked out the door. He had no idea what to do or where to go but he started driving anyways. When his stopped his car first, it was at his place. He had thought some on his way there and knew what he had to do.

He ran up the stairs two at a time and quickly slipped his key in his lock, walking inside his apartment for the first time in the last couple of days. Pieces of glass were everywhere on the floor as well as a frame he kept on a shelf in the kitchen.

"Shit." He cursed under his breath, assessing the full extent of the damage. He knew he'd have to clean all of that at some point but that wasn't why he was here for now. He went into his closet and took his piece from the safe and holstered it to his left hip, slipping his star around his neck. He was pretty sure that he knew what Voight would tell him but he had to try it. It was a twenty minute drive to the district from his place and his mind kept moving at a mile a minute, trying to sort some things. He parked in his usual spot and drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, his nerves suddenly getting the best of him. He took a few deep breaths before he got out, heading for the front of the district. He kept his head down because he didn't want to have to talk to the least amount of people before he made it upstairs. The only one he knew he couldn't avoid was Platt at the front desk.

"Morning Sarge." He waved at her, praying she was busy enough to not pay attention to him.

"Not so fast boy wonder." She snapped her fingers at him. "How are you?"

"I'm good." She watched him as he turned on his heels and headed upstairs. She knew that he wasn't good and taking him all in, she knew what he was trying to do and she was sure that Voight would shut him down on the spot.

He made it up the stairs and the bullpen was mostly empty with the exception of Voight who was in his office with the door closed and Jay at his desk.

"Hey, I'm sorry about your old man." Jay stood and hugged Adam.

"Thanks man." He pulled out of the hug.

"Where is everyone?"

"Working their CI's" Jay said as he took in Adam's appearance.

"He in with someone?" He pointed towards the closed door.

"No." He started, looking from the closed door and then back to Adam. "But for the record, he'll never agree to take you back." Adam completely ignored Jay's comment and knocked on the closed door.

"Got a minute boss?" Voight finally looked up and took Adam's appearance in.

"Only if it's not the question I think you're going to ask me." Adam's gun and badge was the first thing he noticed when he looked up.

"Come on, I got to get out of my head boss." He tried arguing his point but Voight wouldn't have it.

"Adam, you're hurting and I know for a fact that you didn't start planning anything for the funeral and Kim told me you turned down our offer for help." He leaned against the arm of his chair.

"I yelled at Kim about it and I need to apologize to her."

"You should. She's doing everything she can to help you through this, don't shut her out."

"I won't Sarge but I need to do something. When I'm at home, my mind keeps going places."

"I know it's hard Ruzek but there's too much going on in your life and you need to take care of it before you come back to Intelligence.2

"I understand." He hung his head and turned to leave only for Voight to stop him.

"Not so fast." Adam turned around and knew as soon as their eyes met. "Your badge and your gun." He pointed to his desk.

"Come on Sarge, I won't do anything stupid. It'll be back in my safe in the next hour."

"Sorry." Adam slipped his star from around his neck and placed it on the desk before unclipping his gun out of his holster and placing it next to his badge. "Get your things in order and come see me after."

"Thanks Sarge." This time he left the office and was headed back out but he bumped into Kim as he walked down the stairs.

"Kim. What are you doing here?"

"I was giving them a hand. What are you doing here?"

"A long shot." He sighed. "Can we talk?" She nodded and he guided her into the empty office in front of Platt desk.

"Is something wrong?" She leaned against the desk, her arms crossed against her chest.

"I'm sorry for being such a dick and walking out on you yesterday."

"It's ok Adam."

"No it's not." He raised his hand to stop her. "The first time you told me about asking Platt for help in the hospital, I didn't register it and yesterday I just lost my shit. It's just so hard and you've been gracious enough to take me in, keep me from doing something stupid. I'm not making it easy for you and yet you're still there taking care of my sorry ass and everything else. I'd really like your help for my dad, and Platt's, I really don't know what I'm doing." His eyes were now misty with tears he willed wouldn't fall.

"You told me to talk to you or Kevin when it became too much for me but you need to listen to your own advice Adam. I told you I'd be there with you every step of the way and I meant it."

"I know darling, I promise I'll do better." He was leaning against the closed door.

"Good." She smiled at him and came closer. "How about I see what Platt came up with and we can talk it over when I come back later."

"Sounds good." She leaned up and gave him a peck on the lips. It was soft and it was quick but enough to makes his insides catch on fire. "I'll let you get back to it, be careful."

"Will do." She smiled at him as her heart beat wildly in her chest. She waited for him to leave to run up to Intelligence so she could give them what she had found and when she was done, she made it to Platt and they put their heads together, Trudy telling her what she had done so far.

Adam got in his car and drove back to his place. He knew that he had a lot of cleaning up to do and figured that he could at least calm the raging emotions that were going through him while he kept his body occupied.

He sighed when he walked into his place again. He grabbed a black garbage bag that he doubled up and started cleaning all the mess in the kitchen. It was mostly pieces of glass and dishes and when it was full, he set it by the door. He walked into the living room next and proceeded in putting the bookshelf back up and placing all of its content back inside and moving the table back in its rightful place. After a couple of hours, he was satisfied with his progress. He returned both pictures to the fridge and his eyes filled with tears again.

"I miss you so much pops." He furiously rubbed the tears from his eyes. He turned all the lights off and put all the trash bags outside before locking his door and heading out. He took a few deep breaths while he sat on his car, willing his heart to slow down and the pain to subside but it was useless. The pain he was feeling wasn't going away anytime soon. When he got his breathing under control, he started driving and ended up at his dad's place.

He didn't know if he was strong enough to go in but his feet had a will of their own and within minutes, he was standing in his dad's kitchen. The sink was full of dishes from that morning, his dad having probably run out quickly to get to work. He started cleaning out the dishes and putting order in the kitchen before he made his way in the room his father used as an office. He moved around the small room looking at souvenirs and he found himself in from of a magnetic board filled with paper clippings. All of them had his face staring back at him. His father had kept track of all of his exploits since joining the CPD and the emotion caught in his throat. He then realized that no matter how strained their relationship was because of him being in Voight's unit, he was still proud of him. He suddenly felt like an elephant was sitting on his chest and he couldn't breathe. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a single text before he fell to his knees, overcome with emotions.

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 **A/N: I still have a few sadder chapters up ahead leading up to the funeral but I promise Adam will start feeling a weight off his shoulders. Please take a few seconds to review, I love to read your thoughts - Sarra**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: So thank you for everyone's nice words on the last chapter about my little Burzek moment. I hope this one will give you those same feelings.**

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The sound in the bullpen was starting to become chaotic and Kim had missed it. She couldn't wait to get back in full capacity but this was enough for now. She had to concentrate her energy on getting Adam through this particularly tough spot. She was concentrating on what Antonio was saying when the sound of her phone cut through all that chaos.

"Shit." She blinked a few times when she realized that she had said that out loud and that everyone was looking at her.

"Everything ok Burgess?" Her eyes shifted towards Voight who was standing in his doorway.

"I don't think so. I have to go." She raised her phone in answer.

"You need one of to come with you?" Kevin took a step in her direction, his protective side of her on full display.

"No, I'll be fine but I'll call of that changes." Voight nodded his confirmation that she could leave and she was out the door in a second. She ran to her car that was in the back lot and she drove off. She drove, complete silence in her car. Her mind was racing and her heart was pounding, Adam's voice in hear head.

 **I don't think I can do this without you. I'm at my dad's, meet me there please.**

"I hope everything is ok." She whispered to herself as she turned on her ex father in law's street, spotting Adam's car immediately. She parked behind the charger and slowly exited the car. She didn't know what to expect at this point and it scared her a bit. She slowly pushed the door open. "Adam?" Her hand was hovering over her service weapon, really not knowing what to expect. She walked past the kitchen that was clean, something she was sure Adam had done. It's only when she heard the sobs coming from the room just beyond the living room that she knew where to look. She found him on his knees on the carpeted floor, overtaken by sobs. "Aw baby." She kneeled down next to him and pulled her into her embrace, allowing him to let all the tears flow. It didn't matter how long it took, she knew he had to let it all out. He had put on a brave face since the very beginning because that is what Adam Ruzek does but now, he couldn't keep any of his emotions in anymore.

Her phone dinged but she ignored it, wanting to be with Adam only and simply concentrate on him. The sobs diminished and soon all that was left was laboured breathing and occasional hiccups.

"What am I supposed to do now?" His fingers were pulling at an invisible lint on her shirt. "I don't even know where to start."

"How about we go through his papers, see if he left specific instructions?"

"We never walked about it."

"What about your mom and sister?" He scoffed.

"She have come to the hospital the first time but that won't change a thing. She hated his guts and she won't lift a hand. And my sister, I highly doubt she'll be any more equipped to know about this. They didn't really speak to each other."

"Alright. Let's get you a splash of cold water and we can see what we can find." She rubbed his back as she helped him stand. "I'm really sorry I pulled you from work. I know you've been missing it." She followed him to the bathroom and let him go inside while she leaned against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest.

"It's ok Adam. I'm there for you for everything that you need." She looked at him as he splashed some water on his face, his hands vigorously rubbing his cheeks, trying to remove the tears stain from his face.

"You know, sometimes I have a feeling that I'm drowning and I don't know if I have the strength to stay above water." He admitted as he looked at her through the mirror after a few minutes of silence, his eyes bloodshot.

"Adam." Her heart broke for him and she knew that until he could make some progress where the funeral was concerned, she was afraid it wouldn't get better just yet. "I'm there for you, no matter what. I told you before, I'm not giving up on us and this is just another storm that we have to weather together." She took the few steps that separated them and she ran her hand on his back before she pulled him to her chest. "I've got you baby." She whispered to his ears as he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding on to dear life.

"Thank you for not giving up on me." He mumbled into her neck.

"Never." She smiled at him as she pulled away. "You ready."

"Not really but what choice do I have?" He walked ahead of her and she placed her hands on his hips, giving them a gentle squeeze of support. She waited for him to make the first step, not wanting to overwhelm him. He pointed to a few boxes on the floor. "Maybe you can start in there." He looked at her and she simply nodded. She watched as he made it to the shelving unit on the left wall of the office.

It had been an hour already and still they hadn't found anything useful in regards to Bob Ruzek's wishes. Kim had gone through all the boxes and places them in a corner, labelling them as much as she could so it could help Adam for another hard moment for him down the line.

"Did you find anything?" She put the last box on top and turned to face Adam.

"Nothing." He sighed, starting to feel like he wasn't getting anywhere. "This cabinet is the last hope."

"Do you want some help or your good?"

"How does moral support sound to you?"

"Not going anywhere." She smiled as she watched him open the doors and go one shelf at a time. Adam was almost losing hope when he saw a thick envelop with his name on it in his father's handwriting. "Hey, you ok?" She ran her hand against his forearm.

"Not even close." His hands were shaking lightly as he took a few shaky breaths. He took a couple of steps backwards and took a seat at his dad's desk.

"I'm right here." She was with him in an instant. She stood behind him and ran her fingers through his hair, placing a kiss on the top of his head. She stayed there in silence as she waited for him to open the envelop on his own time. He turned it around and finally slipped his finger between the tab and the back, breaking the seal. He unfolded the pile of papers and found a letter on the top. He took a few breaths before he read it.

 _To my son._

 _If you're reading this, it means that I'm gone. I know we haven't always had the best relationship but know that I loved you with all my heart and that you are my greatest accomplishment. Now I know that these following weeks will be difficult but I know you can do it. Inclosed, you'll find all the information you'll need to give me a proper send off. As for the house, take what you want and give the rest. Then you can put it on the market. Whatever is left is all yours to use as you see fit. I've done all I can in this life for you and I know that you will live the rest of your life with integrity and pride but if I can give you just one piece of advice, you need to find Kim and get her back. Fight for her and if you can manage to conquer her again, don't ever let her go. Life isn't worth living if you don't have love in it and I know that you still love that woman with all your heart. So if you ever do one last thing for your old man, let be that._

 _Love_

 _Dad._

Kim could feel his shoulders shake as the sobs overtook him, his hands falling to his lap, the papers still in his grasp.

"Your father was proud of you, don't ever forget that." She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and let him cry. Cry for his father and all the years he wouldn't have to spend with him.

"You know that he loved you right?" He said as he ran a hand against his eyes.

"Adam."

"No, I mean it. See for yourself." He pulled her to him and positioned her on his lap, giving her the letter and playing the rest of the envelops contents on the desk. Kim took the letter with shaky fingers and read every word of it. Her eyes filled with tears as she read the last lines of the letter.

"I'm not going anywhere." She choked up as she leaned down and pressed her lips to his in a tender kiss. "So what do we do next?"

"I think we should give Platt a phone call, get the ball rolling?"

"Ok yeah, I can do that." They spent the following hour going through the whole stack of papers and with Platt on the phone to get all the details ironed out before they went back to Kim's place, the two of them cuddled up on the couch where they fell asleep, knowing they still had a lot of work to do.

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 **A/N: So here's for another one. Please take a few seconds to review before you go, it encourages me to write more and I love to read your thoughts-Sarra**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter. I think it's the most that I've gotten at a time, you guys are amazing. Here's another sad one.**

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The two following days went by like a blur. The only constant was Kim. She had been at his side for every step of it. She found him pacing her living room the morning of the funeral.

"Adam, what are you doing awake?" It was barely dawn when she heard the faint noises.

"I can't get it right." His eyes were filled with tears and his shoulders looked tense but the look through those tears told her that he was more angry than sad about it. "I need to get this right.

"Hey." She was at his side in an instant. "You can do it Adam. Just speak from your heart." She placed her fingers over his t-shirt, right above his heart. HE closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"Thanks." He wrapped his fingers around her hand that still lingered on his chest. "I'm sorry I woke you darling."

"Don't worry about it." She smiled at him. "Do you want something to eat?"

"I'm not sure i'll be able to keep it down." He said honestly, his stomach queasy.

"Ok. I'll be in the kitchen in you need me." She kissed the corner of his lips and padded back there, wanting to give him some space to get his ideas in order. She pulled some different things from her cupboard, deciding on some french toast and some fruits. She didn't want to make something too heavy but knew that both she and Adam would need something to keep their strength up. She could see him pacing out of the corner of her eyes so she filled a cup of coffee and headed back towards him. "Here you go." She placed the cup on the living room table. She rubbed his arm and returned to the kitchen to fix herself a plate. She sipped her cup and her mind kept taking her back to two days before.

 _Kim blinked the sleep away from her eyes and realized that she was wrapped into familiar arms. His arms were wrapped around her waist, her back tucked into his chest. She exhaled a shaky breath and smiled. She had missed him terribly and all she could think about it how good she felt in his arms._

" _You're thinking awfully loud." She chuckled lightly as he whispered the words in her ear._

" _I've missed this." She turned around in his arms so she could face him._

" _I've missed you." He rubbed his nose against hers. "What made you change your mind?"He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. He didn't need to give her an explanation about what he meant by that._

" _Life's too short but I meant what I said about going slow. I don't want to make the same mistakes."_

" _I don't intend to do that either." Their lips met and it was short and soft but it made her heart flutter._

"You're thinking awfully loud." He gave her a crooked smile and sat in front of her.

"You have that effect on me." She smiled back. "Did you manage to get it right?" She pushed a plate of french toast in front of him. "Just a few bites?"

"I think I finally got it ok." He pulled the plate closer to him and grabbed the fork she was offering him. "Thanks for this." He pointed at the plate.

"Anytime." She watched him eat as they sat in silence. He was concentrated on his task of eating, trying to clear his mind. When he set the pen down, he was finally satisfied with what he had written and tried not to overthink it but he wanted to make his dad proud. He wanted to live up to the words that were in the letter.

"What time do we have to be there?" He finally pushed his empty plate aside.

"We still have a couple of hours." She tried to keep it light, not wanting to put any more stress on Adam than necessary. "Grab a shower and try to take it easy ok?" She stood and cleared the table. Adam didn't try to stop her, his nerves starting to show again. She waited until she heard the shower running and watched Adam walk back out and towards his room and back in the bathroom again before she went to the front closet.

She had asked Kevin about Adam's dress blues and he had made sure to get them for her the previous night, clean and pressed. She took the garment bag and went in Adam's room, hanging it against the wall to the left of the bed. She unzipped it and set it on his bed, his tie and hat next to it before she went to her own room, running the shower for herself. She walked under the hot mist and her thoughts drifted to Adam.

Adam turned the water hotter once under the mist. His palms were against the cool tiles and his thoughts were muddled. Pain for the father he lost and love for the woman that was only doors away from him. She had helped him through the hardest stage of his life and even know he knew some hard days were still ahead of him, he knew that he'd get through it because of her. He didn't know how he was supposed to get through the service at the church and it was all to much for him. He turned his face upward and let the mist wash the tears that were falling uncontrollably from his eyes. It took it a few minutes to settle himself before he washed himself and shut the water. The person staring back at him had bloodshot eyes from crying so he splashed some water against his face and wiped it for before he made his way back to his room.

Kim had heard Adam's cries as she stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her body. Her heart broke a little more for him and she knew that he'd need her today more than ever to be able to help him through the service. She noticed him out of the corner of her eye, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist as he made it back to his room, making her insides on fire. She couldn't deny her attraction to him and her heart had always been his regardless of the bumps in the road they had faced and deep inside, she hoped that once Adam had settled past his grief that they'd be able to come back to each other for good. She got changed into her dress blues to keep her thoughts from traveling to him as he did the same a few doors down from her.

Adam's fingers were shaking as he tried to make the knot in his tie and he was growing increasingly frustrated with it as it didn't look the way he wanted it to.

"Damn it." He growled, pulling the offensive object and throwing it on the bed, Adam plopping down heavily on the mattress, his head in his hands.

"Adam, what's wrong?" Kim had dashed out of her bedroom at the sound of his voice filled with anger.

"I can't tie that damn thing properly." He sat up straight and slumped his shoulders.

"Let me give you a hand." He took his tie back in his hand and stood to face her. She raised the collar of his shirt properly and slipped it around his neck. "I know you're nervous and you're scared but it'll be ok." She said as she worked diligently on his tie.

"I don't think I'm strong enough."

"I'm in your corner, always. If you need me, I'll be in the front row ok?"

"Ok."

"Are you ready to go?" She lowered the collar and ironed out the material of his shirt with her hands.

"Yeah." He closed his eyes and she placed her hand against his cheek, the three day stubble prickling her hand.

"Come on." She let him slip his arms through his jacket and she pinned his badge to it and placed the black elastic over it. "I'll drive." He let her guide him down to her car and he took the passenger seat and watched the Chicago scenery pass him by. It wasn't until Kim found a parking spot next to the church that he looked up and saw everyone that was there. Trucks from firehouse 51 stood with raised aerials and an American flag floating. The Hearst carrying his fathers coffin arrived moments later and Kim slipped his hand to his and gave it a squeeze.

Colleagues of his dad's from the 31st were carrying the casket inside, Adam not in any state to do it. He found a spot in the front pew and sat with his elbows on his knees, his eyes never leaving his father's casket. The church was still empty but Kim found him alone inside and went to sit next to him, placing a hand on his leg. They were able to have a quiet moment together, Kim's head on his shoulder, Adam drawing strength from her presence. The rest of Intelligence joined them in the front and the 31st sat behind them. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to find Dan, his father's partner sitting behind him.

"He was proud of you Adam, never forget that." Adam simply nodded, not trusting his voice. The church was already silent when the reverend started talking. Adam couldn't stay concentrated on the words that were being said, his eyes never leaving his father's side. His father's sargent was the first to talk and then Dan spoke about the bond that he had with Robert and all bets were off. Adam could barely contain the tears that were pooling in his eyes at the words of his dad's long time partner on the beat.

Adam was asked to come up next and for a few seconds, it's as if his body didn't want to cooperate. Kim gave his knee a squeeze and winked at him, Adam giving her a small smile before he stood. He stopped at the casket, placed his hand on it and stayed like that for a few seconds before he stood to say a few words.

"I had this whole speech prepared when I got here but after hearing stories about my father, it only seems fitting that I tell one of my own. I was maybe seven or eight, I'm not sure." He cracked a crooked smile as he remembered the exact day in his mind. "Dad had finally taken me to work with him after I had begged him for months. He always said that it was too dangerous to bring me along and he was right." He chuckled. "Do you remember what happened Dan?" Dan couldn't help the laugh that escaped his throat. "First it was a robbery in a convenient store. I was scared shitless and I remember him telling me: Adam, I want you to stay inside the car and not make a sound. As all of you who know me, I didn't listen. It was just one peak and that was it for me. Shots were fired but in the end, Bob Ruzek had the guy, face first on the hood of that police cruiser, in handcuffs and that's when I knew. The day ended up being a crazy one and I had been dropped off at the 31st but that one call, my dad was my hero and I just knew I wanted to grow up to be just like him. He worked hard and when he had his chance at a promotion, he didn't take it because that would mean spending less time with me and he refused to do that. He taught me to keep my head down, do the work and do it well. That it wasn't worth to be done half assed and that's what I'll keep with me. I hope I make you proud pops, I love you." He didn't even attempt to hide his tears from everyone and in that moment, he locked eyes with Kim and her eyes were equally teary. He mouthed a thank you and came back to join her, patting the coffin twice on his way.

Kim held onto his hand for the rest of the service and when it was over, Adam was handed the American adorned the casket and it was taken back outside. Officers, Detectives and other people who knew Bob lined up to pay their last respect, everyone at attention. Adam and Kim followed behind as Kim helped to steady him and they headed for the cemetery. He had requested that the number of people there be limited to his close friends and his own team because he didn't know how much more he could take. The casket was lowered to the ground and he finally allowed everyone to give him some sort of comfort before he was left alone with Kim. They didn't say anything because they didn't need to until Adam silently asked her to have a few minutes alone with his dad before they left. She kissed his cheek and went back to her car to wait for him.

"I didn't know how hard today would be but you were right about one thing. I'm going to keep fighting for Kim and I'm never going to let her go again. She's been my rock these past few days and I'd be a mess without her. I'm going to do my best to make you proud pops." He crouched down and put a rose in the open grave. He stood and wiped a lone tear that had fallen on his cheek. "I'm going to miss you like crazy, I love you." He stayed there a few more seconds before he returned to Kim who was patiently waiting. "Let's go back to your lace yeah?" She nodded with a smile and they drove back to her place. The ride was silent but Adam held onto her hand on his lap the whole way, running his thumb against her knuckles.

As soon as they made it inside, they changed out of their dress blues and Kim sat on the couch, Adam's head in her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair and Adam closed his eyes, the two enjoying the rest of their day away from the rest of the world.

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 **A/N: I hope I didn't make you cry too much. I know these chapters have a lot of sadness in them but soon Burzek will rise for good. Please take a few seconds to review before you go it's always fun to see the thoughts - Sarra**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclamer: i own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: So I don't usually update so quickly but I think that yesterday's episode that was filled with Burzek scenes gave me some feels and it jusst wrote itself. Enjoy**

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Adam had drifted off to sleep in Kim's lap while she stroked through his hair and she was happy to have this quiet moment with him. She watched him as he slept, an arm on his stomach and the other one behind his head. Kim didn't mind the extra weight that that position gave her but it made her mind and her heart run at a mile a minute. She had told Adam that she wasn't giving up on them and that she was willing to take it slow to make it back to him but watching him like that, it made her want it all. She wanted the quiet mornings in bed with his body wrapped in his arms, she wanted the passion of the sex that she knew was always mind blowing and she wanted the chaos of trying to navigate through life with him. Having him with her since that fateful night only made her resolve stronger. She knew that it wouldn't be smooth sailing in the following weeks knowing Adam still had a lot of grief to work through but she was willing to do it all with him. She ended up drifting off to sleep herself, her head hanging back against the back of the couch.

Adam stirred and shifted on the couch when he realized where he was. His head was still sitting in Kim's lap but he found her sound asleep. He slowly rolled over and stood so he wouldn't wake her. He contemplated draping a blanket over her but he changed his mind, knowing her muscles would be all cramped up by being in that position. He decided to scoop her up gently and brought her back to her own room. He lowered her on the top of the bed and she rolled to the side, facing him.

"Stay with me." She mumbled.

"I'll be right back." The last time she had asked him the same thing he had refused, knowing that they weren't there just yet but now, all he wanted was to hold her in his arms. HE grabbed the throw from the couch and returned to her room where he laid down next to her and placed the blanket over the both of them. He wrapped her in his arms and drifted off to sleep with her scent invading his senses.

When Kim woke up next and it was now dark outside She felt the weight of his arms around her and she smiled. Her back was tucked into his strong chest and she turned around in his arms so she could face him and study him while he slept. He seemed relaxed in his sleep compared to the last few says and she was glad for that. When they first started dating, Adam had barely any fuss on his face but now, the three day fuss that adorned his face made her heart skip a beat. She always found him more handsome with it as opposed to without it. He had changed his haircut a bit in the few weeks before his father past, having shaved it shorter to the side and keeping longer on top and swept to the side. She thought it suited him more this way even though he always looked good in her eyes. She ran her hand gently under his shirt as to not startle him awake.

"Evening." His voice filled with sleep as he pulled her closer to him.

"Hey. Sorry I woke you." She saw Adam suck in a breath as she moved her hand higher up his shirt.

"Kim, what are you doing?" His breath was ragged. Her hands were setting his body on fire and he used all his restraint not to pin her under him and have his way with her.

"I've been missing out." She licked her lips, Adam's eyes still closed. "I was stupid." Her lips were so close to his and it took everything in her not to press hers to his and claim him as hers but they needed to take it slow.

"No, I was the stupid one." He finally opened his eye and looked at her. "I didn't fight for you and I let you get away."

"Do you want to fight now?" She whispered, afraid to find out his answer.

"With everything I have." He finally claimed her lips in a soft kiss. It lasted a few seconds but it was the new beginning they were both craving. "And I'm going to do it right this time,

I promise." He ran his fingers against her arms as he moved up and moved a strand of hair behind her ear, cupping her cheek as he did.

"How are we going to make this work?"

"We have a lot of things to talk about." And talk they did. They talked about what came next concerning his father's estate, they talked about work and how they were going to tell their friends about them and they talked about how they wanted their next few days would go. They spent most of the night in bed until the call of food became too big and Adam stepped out of the bed, refusing to let Kim help her and told her he'd return in just a little bit. As promised, he returned about ten minutes later with sandwiches, Kim's fridge practically empty. "We're going to have to go grocery shopping at some point, that fridge is empty.

"We?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, could be fun." They ate in light conversation, Kim laughing when Adam aloud himself to tell her a story about his dad when he was a kid. She let him set the pace when it came to talking about his father, not wanting to push him too much if he wasn't ready. "I was thinking about going to see Voight tomorrow." He finally said after a few minutes of silence.

"Are you sure about it? I'm sure he would understand if you weren't ready." She ran her hand against her leg.

"I think I'm ready. I just want to get back even if he says it's just for paperwork."

"I'll be right beside you, I promise." He nodded and smiled. He wanted to get his life back and going back to Intelligence was another step in that direction. Adam could hear the faint sounds of his phone, letting him know that people were either calling or texting him but he wasn't in the mood just yet to answer to any of them. He was good in his Kim bubble and he wanted to stay in it a little while longer. After some more arguing over clearing the food, Adam brought the dishes in the kitchen and washed everything before returning to her. He found her propped op on her elbow as she looked at her phone.

"You should look at your messages, everyone is worried about you." She showed him her phone that was blowing up with messages.

"I'll just be a minute darling." He leaned down and kissed her before he took his own phone and skimmed through the messages and sent one to Kevin, asking to tell everyone that he is fine and that he'd see all of them in the morning.

"You do know that we won't be able to hide this for too long."

"Who says I want to hide it? Last time we did that it blew up in our face. I said it that I want to make it right and I meant it."

"So what, we yell it from the roof top?" She giggled, pulling him down by his shirt and kissing him.

"No." He finally said when he managed to catch his breath. "We're taking it slow and out in the open and they find out when they do. That ok with you?"

"Perfect." She smiled at him and she started pulling his shirt over his head. They stripped each other down of their clothes and ended up cuddled in her bed.

"You have no idea how much I want you right now." He rubbed his nose against hers.

"What's stopping you?" She tangled her legs with his.

"Everything. I just want to enjoy it."

"Hold me then." They eventually fell back asleep for the night, wrapped up in each other.

Adam was the first one up and he did as little noise as possible so she could sleep a bit longer. Voight had aloud her to come in later so he got in the shower and changed before going to wake her up. He sat on the side of the bed and shook her gently.

"Wake up sleeping beauty."

"Already morning?" She whined, pulling the blanket high over her head.

"Yeah. I let you sleep while I showered but it's already nine. I figured you'd want to go in." She grumbled something he could quite catch and she pushed violently the covers and headed for her bathroom, taking her clothes with her. It took about twenty minutes for her to return fully dressed, shaking her hair out of the high bun she was sporting. "Ready?" He questioned as he pushed a cup of coffee her way.

"Yeah. Wanna grab breakfast on the way?"

"Sounds about right." They left as soon as Kim finished her coffee and they took his car to make it to the district.

"You ready?"

"Yeah, hopefully Voight won't shut me down completely." He took his usual spot in the back and and they made it through the front. Kim slipped her fingers through his for support and they made it up the stairs, coming face to face with Platt.

"Boy wonder, Burgess." She peered over the desk, seeing their hands linked. "Something going on that II should know?" She looked at both in turn.

"Maybe." Adam simply said with a smirk and they both went up the stairs. The bullpen was empty except for Antonio and Voight that were both in his office. Voight was the first to see them approach and the two holding hands didn't go un-noticed.

"What can I do for you Adam?" He motioned for the two to enter. Kim tried to hang back but Adam kept a firm grip on her hand, forcing her to make inside the small space.

"I know that we talked about this a few days back and Kim and I spent a lot of time talking and I think I'm ready to come back Sarge. Just tell what I need to do to get back up here." Adam didn't miss the look Voight and Antonio.

"Trudy needs some extra guys on the beat for the next couple of shifts. How about you and Antonio give her a hand down there and you can come back up?" Of course that wasn't what Adam wanted to hear but he was willing to do whatever it took.

"Sure Sarge, anything."

"And the two of you?" He pointed between the two, their hands still linked together.

"It won't be a problem Sarge." They both promised. No matter the nature of their relationship, they were good together.

"Alright, there's some paperwork waiting for you on your desk in the meantime." Adam nodded and left the office, heading for his own desk. Voight asked Kim to hang around a little bit longer, making her close the door. "How is he, really?"

"After the funeral and up until now, it's been good actually. I see the old Adam. I know there's going to be a few hard choices left to make where his dad's house is concerned but I'm not going to let him do it alone."

"Alright. Thanks for taking care of him Kim."

"I think it's safe to say that we're taking care of each other at this point." She smiled and left the office, some paperwork of her own to get done until they got their next case. Atwater, Halstead and Upton were at their desk by the time she left the office. She and Kevin exchanged a glance but didn't say a word. It would be for another time and as the day went, they caught a small case, Adam staying behind doing the research to help them solve it. When all was said and done, they ended up at Molly's for a drink. His arm was draped over Kim's shoulder and they finally enjoyed a normal evening with their friends. Everyone was happy for them, Kevin pulling him into a bear hug when they had walked inside together, Adam's hand on the small of her back.

They returned to her place around ten and tumbled into bed, the two exhausted. Adam was more than ready to return to normal and tomorrow was going to be the first day of his new normal, one without his father but one with Kim at his side.

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 **A/N: Ok so I know I said that Burzek were supposed to get back together last chapter but it seemed more fitting to do it in this one so I could give them their own time instead of jamming it with ssomething else. I really hope you guys like this one and please leave a review, I wanna know if I did it right - Sarra**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: So Chapter 11...I decided I needed my own BURZEK fix in this chapter and I hope it'll scratch your itch as well.**

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Adam was the first one to wake up the next morning. He ran his hands on his face while Kim was curled up next to him. The last time he had been on the beat was during the bombing at the festival where Toma had taken his life and he and Kim hadn't been close to anything more than friends. He quietly got out of bed and headed directly to the shower. He knew that he would need some more clothes so he'd have to stop by his place at the end of shift to grab some.

"I woke up and you were gone." Adam looked up when he walked into his room, Kim sitting on the bed.

"I needed to get ready, I can't be late or else Platt will kill me."

"Well if you stand like this still dripping wet I might not be able to help myself." She was looking him up and down.

"Down darling." He chuckled, walking farther in and grabbed his pants, slipping them over his briefs. "I'm going to take my car today, gotta stop by my place after shift." He said over his shoulder as he slipped a shirt over his head.

"Are you spending the night over there?" She knew that there was no real reason for him to not go back to his place now.

"Not unless you want me to." He sat on the bed next to her and took her hand in his.

"Would I totally be selfish if I said that I don't ever want to wake up without being wrapped in your arms?" She looked down at their joined hands.

"Than we can be selfish together." He took her and make her straddle him. He pushed some hair back behind her shoulder. "I like having you tucked in there too." Neither one wanted to say the words move in but Adam cupped her cheek and gave her a slow, languid kiss. When they pulled away for air, Adam kept his hand to her cheek and she leaned into it.

"You have to get going." She pulled away from him painfully and stood. "I really don't want you on Platt's bad side." She smiled, knowing how much Trudy would bust his balls if he was even one minute late.

"Dinner tonight?" He took his hand in his again, the urge to touch her too strong to ignore.

"Absolutely." She smiled at him, leaned down for a quick kiss and disappeared out of his room to get changed herself. He slipped on a long sleeve shirt and grabbed his bag before making it out the door with one last kiss on his way out.

He quickly parked in his spot and jogged up the steps and into the locker room to change out in his blues, not even acknowledging Platt. When He stepped out, Antonio was already waiting for him in front of Platt's desk. It was strange to see Antonio in his blues being that he had been up in Intelligence since it's inception.

"Where do you need us sarge?" Adam asked as he took the radio that she was giving him. After she gave them their assignment and the keys to a patrol car, they were on their way out.

"You want to drive?" Antonio offered him.

"Yeah." He caught the keys Antonio threw his way and they were gone. Minutes past and it was complete silence in the car and Adam wasn't in a hurry to fill it. He was able to think about the last few days with Kim and that was more than enough for him until they got a call.

"So you and Burgess huh?" Adam couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips as he kept his eyes trained on the road.

"Yeah! Death puts a lot in perspective man." He finally glanced at Antonio who nodded. He couldn't even fathom what Adam was going through but if he found his way back to Kim and a healed heart, he was all for it. "But we're taking it slow this time. I'm not looking to make the same mistakes as before."

"Relationships take hard work Adam but I have no doubt the two of you can make it work. I certainly wished I did." Antonio had a lot of regrets where his failed relationships were concerned and if he could prevent Adam from going down that road, he was more than willing to share some advice with him.

The rest of the morning was rather uneventful and eventually they stopped for lunch. Adam offered to make the run for subs and while he waited, his phone dinged. **How is the unbreathable polyester treating you?** It was accompanied by a laughing emoji and it make him smirk. **It's killing me. Still on for dinner tonight?** He returned the text and waited for the affirmative text to go along with it before he pocketed his phone and grabbed their order, returning to the patrol car.

"Hot date tonight Ruzek?" Antonio had seen the smile on Adam's lips as he left the restaurant.

"Something like that." He smirked until his radio came to life, calling them to a corner store robbery. Adam stopped the car and stepped out as quietly as possible, unholstering his gun and following Antonio's lead. They managed to go around the back, the back door slightly ajar. Antonio was in first, Adam closely behind. They didn't know what they would find but they quickly realized that everything was going on in the front. Adam made eye contact with the owner, pressing a finger to his lips to keep them quiet. From what he could see, one of them was emptying the register while the second was holding a gun aimed at the people in the restaurant. It was only when the one holding the gun moved slightly to the right that Adam made his move.

"CPD, drop your gun." Adam had his gun to the man's head. "SLOWLY!" The guy lowered the gun slowly and put it on the floor before Adam forced him face down on the ground, re-holstering his gun and cuffing the man, Antonio already done with the other offender. Once they were shoved into the cruiser, Adam returned inside to make sure everyone was ok.

"Thank you so much officer, they have been hitting this place up for the past year." The owner shook his hand.

"I'm glad we could help. Is anyone hurt?" While Adam made sure that everyone was ok and took statements, Antonio was calling it in.

"So, how does it feel being back?" Antonio clapped his shoulder when they were on their way back to 21st?

"It feels damn good." He smiled as he parked in front of the district. The got up and took the two offenders inside. He walked past Kim and Intelligence as they were on their way out.

"First bust of the day?" Kim asked as she turned around, walking backwards.

"Yeah." He winked at her and the two of them brought the offenders into lock up before having to fill in the paperwork.

He and Antonio got a few more calls during the rest of the day and with each one he felt his energy return and his excitement for his evening with Kim grow. Intelligence returned at the same time as he returned his radio to Platt.

"You all wrapped up? Do I wait up for you?"

"Almost and don't. I'll get Atwater to bring me back.." She quickly pecked his lips and bounced up the steps to join the rest of the team. Adam changed out of his blues and into his street clothes before he and Antonio split up, Antonio going back upstairs and Adam heading out. He wanted to stop by the store to get what he needed for their evening and headed back to Kim's place. He made sure to light a couple of candles that he found in the kitchen, the aroma of apple and spice filling her kitchen. He placed the flat bread pizza's on the counter and proceeded in filling them with all her favourite toppings and slipped them in the oven. When he got her text saying she was five minutes out, he poured her a glass of red wine and grabbed a beer for himself while he waited for her to return.

Kim was more than happy to ride shotgun next to Kevin. It had been far too long that they hung out together and they had promised to do something soon. He stopped his truck in front of her apartment complex and turned to face her.

"So you and Ruzek, that serious?"

"Serious enough." She smiled at the thought of Adam waiting for her upstairs. "We're taking it slow Kev. We're in no rush but it feels good."

"Are you sure about all this?" Ruzek was his best friend but Kim was like a sister to him and while he was happy to see the two back in each other's orbit, the last thing he wanted was for history to repeat itself and for her to get her heart broken.

"Thanks for looking out for me Kev but I think we'll be ok this time." She smiled, her heart thumping loudly in her chest.

"But if he hurts you I wear I'll kill him." The corner of his lips were raised but the look in his eyes told her e was serious.

"Than I promise to leet you at him first, deal?" She chuckled, loving getting his protective side going.

"Deal. Night Burgess." He pulled her in for a hug over the middle and released her so she could enjoy the rest of her evening.

"Night Kev." He waited for her to be safely inside before heading back to his own place.

She walked into her place and her senses were suddenly invaded by the scent of apples and pizza. She smiled as she dropped her bag next to the couch and she followed her senses into the kitchen. She found Adam leaning against the island, his back to her and sipping a beer.

"Smells great in here." He turned at the sound of her voice and smiled that smile that was just for her.

"I thought we could enjoy that dinner just the two of us." He handed her the glass of wine as he pulled away from the kiss they were sharing.

"I like that idea even better." She took a sip of her glass and set it down on the island. "I'll go change."

"Pizza's should be ready by the time you're done darling." She closed her eyes and smiled.

"I missed you calling me that." She kissed him again.

"Good thing I get to do it again then." He took her cheeks in his hands and kissed her soundly. "Now go on, i'll finish getting the food ready." She nodded and he released his hold on her. She disappeared into her room and she slipped out of her clothes and into a pair of yoga pants with an over the shoulder sweater, sweeping her hair in a top bun. She washed her face of any trace of make-up and joined Adam in the living room where he was waiting for her on the couch with the food and wine. "God you're beautiful." A blush crept on her cheeks as she plopped down, her legs stretched on his lap, his own on the coffee table. They eased into the rest of their evening with small talk and about them. Once they were done eating, Adam took care of their empty dishes and filled her glass with some more wine, taking one for himself too. He rubbed her calves as he listened to her talk. If he was honest with himself though, his eyes rested on her lips as she talked and slowly, his heart started thumping louder.

"Darling." It slipped easily off his tongue.

"Hmm?" She looked into his eyes, recognizing what she used to see in his eyes every time he looked at her when they started dating the first time.

"I think we shouldn't talk that much." He took the glass out of her hands and placed them both on the living room table. He extended his hand for her to take and he helped her up to her feet, pulling her flush against him.

"What do you suggest we do now?"

"Let me love you." He brushed his thumb against her lower lip. Her heart was now beating wildly in her chest and all of a sudden, they weren't taking things so slow after all. He lips found her and nothing was rushed. He raised her and allowed her to wrap her legs around his waist as their lips stayed connected. Tonight wasn't about the sex but rather their desire to reconnect, learn about the other one more time. Their clothes were slowly discarded on the ground one by one and Adam lowered her gently against the mattress. They spent the night exploring each other's bodies, old sensations rekindled and new spots found until they finally fell asleep wrapped in each other, happy to be back where they belonged.

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 **A/N: So I hadn't intended this chapter to turn out like this but I'm glas that I went there. I hope you guys like it and please take a few seconds to review before you go, I love reading your thoughts - Sarra**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: i own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: Thanks for the great words on the last chapter. Here is another sad one but hope you like it anyways.**

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The next morning, they were woken up by Adam's phone buzzing on the night stand. "Maybe you should answer that." Kim groaned and rolled away from him, covering her head with the blanket.

"Let's it ring." Adam was in no mood for this, the two of them being off today.

"It's been ringing for the past thirty minutes." She complained. Adam sighed and blindly reached for it.

"Ruzek." He didn't even try to hide his frustration at the caller on the other line. "No, it's ok." His voice visibly less angry. Kim noticed the change in his tone and immediately sat in bed. "Yes, I'll be right there." Kim couldn't hear the other side of the conversation but his body was telling her all she needed to know.

"Is everything ok?" She put a hand on his bare back to try to steady him.

"That was my father's attorney. They are doing the reading of his will in two hours." She gasped at the information and she shuffled closer to him.

"What can I do?"

"Come with me."

"Oh Adam, I don't know." She didn't think it was her place to be, regardless of the nature of their relationship..

"Please." He looked over his shoulder at her.

"Ok. Give me ten minutes and I can be ready." She threw her legs over the side of the bed and went for a quick shower. She suddenly became nervous for Adam as she wrapped the towel around her chest, her hair slightly dripping wet. She tip toed back to her room to find him sitting on the edge of bed. "What are you thinking?" She took a seat next to him.

"This is going to be so final." His elbows were sitting on his knees and he grabbed his head in his hands, willing the tears to stay away.

"I know this is hard Adam but you can lean on me, I'll do what I can to help."

"Just being here helps." He straitened his back and looked at her, running a hand against her thigh. "I'm not sure I would be holding up the way I am without you. I'm never letting you go again." He placed the palm of his hand against her cheek and kissed her. It was short but filled with all the gratitude he felt from having her back in his life, in his heart. "I'll be right back darling." He kissed her cheek and grabbed some clothes, heading to the shower.

Kim let him do his thing, watching him move around in silence. She pulled a pair of black dress pants and a blue sleeveless top and shook her hair loose. She noticed Adam was having trouble with his cuffs, his fingers shaking just barely.

"I got you." She whispered, stilling his hands with her own. They shared a smile and she helped him with the cuffs and she smoothed the lines on his shoulders. "Ready?"

"I guess so." She kissed the corner of his mouth and they headed out, Kim taking the wheel. Adam had given her the address she was given and the drive was spent in silence, Kim stealing occasional glances his way, making sure he was ok. When her car came to a stop, Adam's breathing had hitched considerably.

"Hey, look at me." She was scared that she was loosing him to the crushing emotion that he was feeling but the sound of her voice brought his eyes to her own. "You can do this and I'm right there." He nodded, not trusting his voice. He had never felt these new kinds of emotions before and he didn't know what to do to get them in check. They made it inside the lawyer's offices and Kim did the talking, her hands wrapped around his forearm, trying to keep him steady and calm. They were ushered inside a small office and Adam was surprised to see his sister there.

"Hey." They had never been entirely close and he had called her and their mom when his father passed out of respect.

"Adam."

"Where's mom?"

"Thank you for coming on such short notice." The three looked up when a tall man in a suit entered the room. "My name is Michael Johnston and I was your father's attorney." Adam nodded and waited, Kim giving his knee a gentle squeeze. "We are here for the reading of Robert James Ruzek's will." That was the last thing that Adam's brain processed, the rest a massive blur. Kim noticed the slight shift in Adam's posture, just the tiniest bit but she knew he was immediately overwhelmed. She squeezed his knee as she listened, trying to remember ever detail for him.

"Do either of you have any questions?" Adam took a shaky breath and stood.

"I can't do this." Everyone looked at him leave the room.

"We'll be right back." Kim excused herself and ran after him. "Adam." She said as she caught up to him.

"I can't Kim, I just can't." The tears were running down his face and his chest was heaving.

"Yes you can." She cupped his cheeks and made him look at her. "Your dad left you almost everything. Let's get back inside and Mr Johnston can explain everything to you." She gave him a few seconds to catch his breath before they returned hand in hand. As they entered the small office, Adam's sister was standing and shaking hands with the attorney.

"I'll see you around Adam." She took both steps separating them and pulled him into a hug "Everything will be ok." She whispered in his ear and she kissed his cheek before she stopped at Kim's level. "Take good care of him." Kim nodded her agreement and waited for her to leave the room before they took a seat facing the attorney again.

"I'm sorry I ran out of here." He closed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It's quite normal Mr. Ruzek. Your father had such fond words when he spoke of you and I know that you were quite close. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them."

"I didn't catch everything you said before. Apart from the house, what did my dad?" He couldn't finish the sentence as the words got caught in his throat.

"Essentially he left you his house and everything that it contains. He left all the decisions up to you and his words were and I quote. Adam will know what's the best decision to make with my things. Now the mortgage will be frozen until the end of the process, which can sometimes be long but as soon as it is officially in your name, you will have to take care of all that it entails and you can decide what you want to do with it."

"Ok." Adam was at a total loss for words. "Um, do I have papers to fill in or to sign."

"Nothing to sign. I'll just put everything in an envelop concerning the house and you can take your time to look it over. Someone from the bank will contact you."

"Ok, thank you." Adam stood and shook Mr Johnston's hand, Kim doing the same.

"Thank you." Kim echoed.

"If you have any questions, feel free to call my secretary and we can schedule an appointment."

"We will." Adam nodded and he ushered Kim out the door and back to her car.

"Are you ok?" She placed her hand on his arm as they sat in her car in silence.

"I just want to go home." All he wanted now was to stop feeling anything. He wanted to crawl back in bed and hold onto Kim with everything he had.

"Home it is." A smile formed on her lips. The drive back was as silent as the drive to and suddenly, Adam changed his mind as they waited at a red light.

"Make a right here, I want to go to his house."

"Are you sure Adam?" She was worried about him and she didn't know where his head was at and it scared her.

"Yes." She took the right and made the drive towards the Ruzek household. She parked inside the entryway. "Are you ready?" They had been here the last time and it had been hard but now it was all officially his, it was different. She let him go inside and simply shadowed him as he rediscovered every room.

"I don't even know what I'm supposed to do with all of his things." He sighed as they found their way to the office again.

"You don't have to rush that kind of decision. It's a lot to process babe." She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and placed her cheek on his back. "One thing at a time." She whispered into his shirt.

"I don't even know where to start." He gently pulled away from her as he wordlessly moved his hand on his fathers desk, tears threatening to fall. "I don't know how to do this without him."I loud sob escaped his lips as he fell top the floor.

"Adam." Kim's tears were clouding her sight as she went to his, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and letting him cry it out.

"Don't leave me." He sobbed in her neck, holding onto her for dear life.

"I'm not going anywhere." She let him cry it out and stood by him, the two going through this latest ordeal together.

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 **A/N: I know these are hard chapters but going forward, there will be a little bit more light at the end of Adam's tunnel. Please take a few seconds to review, I love to read your thoughts - Sarra**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: Thank you so much to everyone that read and reviewed the last chapter it means the world to me. Now I'm trying to write them navigating Adam's greif realisticly and I know it's not always easy and people don't grieve the same way but I know first hand how grieving can play with someone at its core so I hope you guys can take that journey with him.**

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It had been a few days since Adam's breakdown at his dad's house and he asked Voight for a few days off even if he knew it wasn't ideal for the team. Voight had insisted it was perfectly fine and to just take care of it, no matter how long it would take him. He would wake up before Kim and would often come back long after she had gone to bed and sometimes she suspected that he didn't come to bed with her at all.

Kim woke up and stretched her arms, finding Adam's spot empty again. She sighed and got ready for the day. She'd have to talk to Kevin to see if he could talk some sense into him. She went up the stairs to the bullpen two at a time, ignoring Platt's request for news of Adam. She didn't have the time nor did she have the answers for her. She set her coat on her chair and headed for a coffee, hoping it would help her get through another day without much news of Adam.

"Hey Burgess, you okay?" She didn't even need to hear his voice to know who was there.

"When Adam comes home I'll feel a hell of a lot better." She sighed, taking a large sip of the hot liquid.

"How many days now?"

"Fourth morning I've woken up to an empty bed." She finally turned to face him. "He sends messages like I'm fine and don't worry about me but I just don't know where his head is at and I think he crashed at his dad's house, or even his but I'm not so sure."

"Want me to knock some sense into him?"

"I'm trying not to push, I know how hard he's taking it and he doesn't need me hovering over him."

"No but he needs to let you in and right now it ain't happening."

"Do you mind pinging his phone and just I don't know, keep an eye on him?"

"Don't you want to come too?"

"I think he might need his best friend right now. Just tell him I'm worried about him and to just come home when he's ready?" He pulled her into a bear hug and let the sob escape her lips. She was worried and scared that Adam was digging himself into a deep hole.

"We, eehh, got a case." Jay poked his head in the break room. He knew they were having a moment in there, talking about Adam but this case couldn't wait.

Adam's eyes fluttered open and his head was pounding. He couldn't remember half of what had happened the previous night after he had stumbled into Buzzards with a buzz from home but he turned in his bed and palmed empty sheets. He missed having Kim in his arms in the morning but he needed to fix himself first. The reading of the will had done a number on him which resulted in him crying himself into Kim's neck. She had taken him back home after that and they had spent the day on top of the sheets of her bed, wrapped into each other. He had woken up in the middle of the night and left her a note on her kitchen table saying that he'd see her in the evening and when he slipped back into bed with her, she had already been sleeping for a while.

He knew it wasn't fair to her after she had been so supportive of him but right now he needed to few days to get his head on straight. He took a quick shower to remove the cobwebs in his head before he headed to his dad's house. He didn't know what he was doing there because he hadn't taken one decision concerning his personal belongings nor had he decided what he was going to do with the house. He returned home after grabbing some dinner and he popped himself a beer.

The case had been fairly simple but as they wrapped everything up, Kevin went to Voight's office and knocked on the open door. He walked inside when he was motioned in and he closed the door.

"What can I do for you Atwater?"

"Is it ok if I finish the paperwork tomorrow? Kim is worried about Adam and she wants me to check up on him."

"I thought he was living with her."

"He has but not for the last three days, since the reading of his pops will."

"Yeah, paperwork can wait." Hank knew the bond the three of them had and if someone could talk some sense into Adam it was Kevin Atwater.

Kevin didn't need to ping his Adam's phone. He went by his apartment and he saw some light filter through the blind.

"Ruzek open up." Kevin banged on the door, not caring who heard. If someone had problems with him he had no issued flashing his badge to get rid of them. "I'm not gonna ask again, open up Ruzek.

"Stop yelling, the neighbours will complain about your sorry ass." Adam flung the door open and retreated back to his living room.

"You comfortable here?" The place didn't look like hell but its habitant did.

"Yeah, real comfortable." He slammed his beer bottle down on the table and propped his feet up, surfing through channels.

"Well you know who's not comfortable? Burgess." He saw Adam's shoulder square, he had hit a nerve. "She's worried about you man and you don't even have the decency to call her, tell her you're ok."

"She knows I'm ok." He took a pull of his beer

"By fucking text, what the hell is wrong dog?" Kevin was now blocking Adam's view of the tv.

"What the hell Kev, move."

"Ain't moving till you get your sorry ass to Kim's place and talk to her."

"I need some space, I need to get my head on straight before I go back to her. She needs a better version of me, not this sorry joke." Adam was well aware of the way he was acting and he had hoped that the few texts he had sent her saying he was ok and to not worry would ease her but with Kevin standing like that in his living room, he had been wrong."

"Whatever version you are, she wants to help you through it. Don't push her away man."

"I'm not pushing her away; I love her, more than anything."

"Than get your sorry ass out of this place and back to hers. I don't like seeing her sad and that's exactly what she is. Make it right." Kevin removed himself from in front of the tv and left, leaving Adam with his thoughts.

The tv was playing something that his mind couldn't concentrate on, his mind only on Kim. He suspected that she was at home with a book in her lap, trying to empty her head. The more he thought of Kevin's words, the more they made their way into his brain so he stood from the couch and turned the tv off before he took a quick shower and brushed his teeth.

He found himself in front of her door, wondering what he would say to her when she opened. He raised his hand to knock more than once, never doing the action, his nerves suddenly on high alert.

Kim was sitting in the living room with a book in her lap and a glass of wine on the table. Kevin had come by a few minutes ago with the news that he had found Adam and that he was in one piece before he gave him a piece of his mind. She couldn't concentrate on the words that were on the page, her mind bringing her back to Adam. She was worried about him and she wanted to give him space if that's what he asked for but she wanted to be able to be there for him the way he had let her be in the last few weeks. She was staring off into space when she was overcome with a strange sensation. She couldn't quite put her finger on it but she set her book aside and stood, heading towards the door. She looked through the peephole and was surprised to find Adam standing there. She didn't know how ling he had been standing there but she opened the door to his back.

"Adam?" He turned at the sound of her voice.

"Kim." He said her name in almost a whisper. "Can I come in?"

"Uh yeah!" She opened the door farther and let him in.

"I'm sorry for these last few days." He leaned against the closed door of her apartment.

"Adam." She took a step towards him.

"Don't try to make excuses for me Kim. I'm just so lost and I didn't want to be a burden for you while I figure it all out."

"Don't you get it Adam? I want you to lean on me, I want you to let me help you figure it out. It's a lot to shoulder all by yourself and I prefer knowing you struggle but that I'm here to help you than to let you go through it alone. Just come in the living room with me and we can talk about it, please?" He let her pull him towards the couch and she let him put his head in her lap as she ran her fingers through his hair. They stayed silent for minutes, Kim giving him all the space he needed to start talking on his own.

"I don't know where to start." He finally admitted. I know his attorney said that the bank will call me but I don't even know if I want to keep the house or not but what I know is that I can't pay for both."

"Ok that's a start. What if I said that you could live here with me?" Her eyes were locked on him as she stroked his arm, her fingers still in his hair.

"You want me to move in with you?" He looked up at her and she nodded.

"You spend most nights here anyways and I kind of like having you here when I wake up in the morning. I missed you Adam." He knew she was referring to the last days where he was MIA.

"Than yes I'll move in with you darling." Those two words filled Kim's chest with gratitude and lifted a weight off her shoulders.

"Good. Now come to bed, we have a long day tomorrow." They were off and it was the perfect time to start packing his things.

"What's tomorrow?"

"We are off and we are going to get your things at your place to bring it here to ours."

"Hell yeah." He finally sat up and pulled her to him. "I know that there's no pressure this time around but I'm happy we can finally make this kind of decision now. Whatever we chose to do, no more dragging my feet, I promise." He leaned down and kissed her.

"And no more pushing away, please."

"Done." He rubbed his nose against hers and kissed her again. "Come on." He stood and offered his hand to help her up. He guided her with his arms wrapped firmly around his waist towards their room.

"Who are you texting?" Kim was never one to pry and hover over him but if by the off chance it was Kevin she wanted him to ask.

"Kevin. Gotta tell him I got my head out of my ass."

"Ask him for help, tell him I'm paying for pizza and beer." Adam chuckled at Kim's now giddiness.

"He'll meet us there at ten."

"Good. That's more than enough time to enjoy you in bed next to me." She crawled on her hands and knees on the covers to be able to kiss him.

"When you put it that way." He pulled her suddenly by the arms, making her squeal. "Let's get started." She couldn't help but laugh as his lips attacked her neck. Seeing him act like his normal, fun goofy self was a nice sight to see and they had some fun together until they were both too exhausted to still stand. He pulled her to him under the covers later and kissed the top of her head as her chest rose and fell steadily. "Thank you for not giving up on me." He whispered in her hair as he drifted off to sleep.

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 **A/N: Ok so I know that it is a heavy time for Adam and that Kim is trying to be there for him as much as she can but I felt that with their history, the way they navigate their relationship through Adams grief doesn't have to be pushed or follow a specific order but I felt it "natural" for kim to ask him to move in with her. I really hope you guys like it and please take a few seconds to review before you go, always love your thoughts - Sarra**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who left nice words on the last chapter, it means a lot. I know it's been a few weeks since I updated this story but I've been periodically updating my other ones so they don't feel left out haha. I wasn't planning on writing this week end but since I've been sleeping like crap, what better way to spend the time while everyone sleeps than to write? So here's the next one.**

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The sun was filtering through the blinds the next morning but Adam had been up for a while now. He had a bad dream and hadn't been able to go back to sleep. His hand was behind his head and Kim was curled in his side. She looked peaceful and he was glad that she had managed to sleep a good night. He had missed her as much as she had missed him in the few days he had spent at his place. He didn't know what he had done to get yet another chance with her and he wasn't going to screw it up this time.

"What are you thinking about?" Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he smiled at her as he rolled on his side to look at her.

"That I'm a lucky bastard that you'd want to have me back."

"I guess we're both lucky then." Her lips curved in a lazy smile and she found her way closer to him than she already was, her lips on his in a sweet kiss. Adam slipped his hands under her shirt, stroking the skin of her hips gently. It was slow, soft and steady. Kim moaned in the kiss, glad to have this small moment in time where everything was perfect. She loved Adam and moments like these were her proof that he loved her just as much.

"Good morning." Kim giggled as their lips separated.

"Good morning to you too darling." He rubbed his nose against hers.

"So about today?" They hadn't really planned what they were going to do about Adam moving in with her.

"I'm going to pack what I need to stay here and load it in my truck and Kevin is supposed to meet me there with a truck so I can put my furniture and I'm going to bring it to my dad's house." His eyes darkened under the weight of his grief but a gentle stroke of the cheek from Kim brought him back.

"I'll make some space for you in my wardrobe and one of my two chests is practically empty so I'll just transfer them in my other one and you can put all your things away.

"I don't have that much stuff so that should be enough."

"Whatever space you need we'll figure it out."

"I don't need to bring anything else, just being here with you is enough." He leaned down and captured her lips in a kiss, a more heated one this time.

Kim forced herself away from Adam's arms and grabbed a few things to shower, leaving Adam in bed alone. He pondered if he should join her in there but he finally got up to start a fresh pot of coffee, knowing she would need it sooner rather than later. He prepared breakfast for her and when she finally came back in the kitchen, she was dressed in a pair of old jeans with a pink, over the shoulder shirt, her hair in a messy bun on the top of her head.

"I know I keep saying it but I'm a lucky bastard." He pecked her lips and she took the plate from his hands. "You're beautiful."

"You don't look too bad yourself." She giggled. He was wearing nothing but his briefs and he looked hot.

"You can have all of it later." He kissed her again and left to go take a quick shower and change. He came back in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, knowing he'd end up being sweaty by the time he was done.

He simply made a toast for himself and filled a cup of coffee to go and he kissed Kim one last time before he left. Kim started moving some of her things from the wardrobe on her bed when she heard the knock on her door. She made it to the front of her place and looked through the peephole, surprised to see who was on the other side.

"Hailey?"

"Hey." She smiled at her. "I came to see how you were doing."

"I'm uh, good." She moved aside to et her in. "I'm surprised to see you here."

"We've all been worried about you." Kim guided her to the kitchen table and offered her something to drink, Hailey opting for a glass of water.

"It's touch and go really but we're going one step at a time. He'll be back on his feet before you know it."

"That's not what I was asking, how are you doing?" She prodded more. She knew this was hard on her friend and she wanted to make sure that no one forgot her through all of this.

"It's touch and go there too but I'm working hard on making him better and when he's better I am too."

"That's good. Where is he now?" Kim's place was far too quiet for Adam Ruzek to be there right now.

"He's at his place with Kevin." Kim chuckled, knowing full well where Hailey was going. "We talked last night and he finally opened up and I asked him to move in with me so he's over there packing his things, the heavier stuff he's going to store at his dad's until he figures out what he wants to do with the house."

"Need some help?" Hailey was sure that if Kim was here it was to make some room to get Adam's things in here when he got back.

"Sure." She smiled at her friend. Both girls had a good relationship together and Kim was glad to have a friend on her side as well. The girls got to work but Kim's thoughts were always on Adam, wondering how he was fairing on his end.

Adam parked his truck in front of his building and saw the moving truck, Kevin leaning against it, Antonio next to him.

"Hey Antonio, what are you doing here?" He shook his hand.

"I told Burgess to call me if she needed anything and Kevin called me to tell me what's what so here I am."

"Thanks for having her back while I got my shit together." He was happy that Antonio was her partner because he knew he had her six on and off the job and he had proved it time and time again.

"I have her back no matter what, you have my word."

"Good. Now let's get this ball rolling." The three made it to Adam's floor with boxes in hand. "Let's just box everything up and I'll bring the essentials at Kim's and the rest we can take to my dad's.

"Sounds good." Antonio attacked the kitchen, knowing Adam wouldn't need anything in there, Kim having all her own things. Adam took care of his room and the bathroom and Kevin took the living room. Unless there was something they weren't sure Adam wanted to bring with him, they mostly worked in silence.

There was a knock on the door when all the boxes were gathered in the kitchen. Adam let Jay inside right before a second knock. Adam opened it to find his landlord on the other side.

"Officer Ruzek. I heard about your father, I'm really sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." He nodded. "Listen, I wanted to come find you to tell you that I was moving out." He could see the man trying to look over his shoulder. "I'll pay whatever penalty I have to to break the lease."

"Don't sweat it." The man finally looked at him. "I know this is a hard time for you so I just want to facilitate it for you."

"Thank you." He shook his hand. "If you have any trouble with any of your tenants, don't hesitate to give me a call." Adam gave him his business card.

"You don't have to do that."

"It's the least that I can do." He smiled at him. "I've had some great years here. Thank you for everything Michael."

"My pleasure. Come give me the keys when your done and take your time, there's no rush."

"Alright, thanks again." The landlord nodded and left the boys to their packing.

"Jay, how did you know we were here?"

"Hailey texted me, said you might need some help." Adam had no idea where that intel was coming to Hailey and Jay chuckled, seeing the confusion on his face.

"She stopped by Kim's place to see how she was doing and texted me. he's helping her out on her end."

"So you and Upton huh?" Adam could see it in Jay's face.

"Maybe." He smirked, not giving them more than that. "Come on, let's get you moved in with Burgess. They attacked the heavier furniture first and brought it down to the truck and the boxes were split between Adam's truck and the moving truck. Adam did one last check of his apartment, the boys giving him a few minutes alone. He walked through every room to make sure that he left nothing behind and locked the door behind him. This was a chapter of his life that he was closing but he was more than happy to start a new one with Kim. It was the farthest they'd come in their relationship since the first time around and although he hated the circumstances around it, he was grateful to finally be back with her and he would not let that chance slip away.

Adam dropped the keys with the building manager and met up with Kevin up front. The boys had agreed to come unload everything at his dad's house and everyone made it there in their own rides. Unloading wasn't all that long, everything fit in the already cramped garage and Adam pulled the door down and locked it before putting his palm against it, taking a deep breath. He didn't know what he was doing there and his mind wasn't ready to answer that question and he hoped that the bank's call would come later rather than sooner. Kevin clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"You'll be okay."

"I hope so." He turned to look at his best friend and partner. "I don't know what's supposed to come next." He sighed.

"Just take it one day at a time and we're there if you need anything." Antonio tried to reassure him.

"Thanks Dawson, it means a lot."

"We're family, we got you." Adam was pulled into a hug and he let himself return it, trying his hardest to lean on others through all of this.

"We'll let you get back to Burgess, there still some unpacking left to do." Jay laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"Thanks for today guys, I really appreciate it." Adam hugged both Antonio and Jay again.

"Anytime." They both nodded and left him alone with Kevin.

"You have no idea what it means to me that you guys are there for Kim." Adam was now alone with Kevin.

"We're here for the two of you, don't sweat it." They both leaning against Adam's truck. "So what's next?" Kevin didn't want to put pressure on his friend, he knew it was a tough time for him.

"I don't know man. I think I'll just concentrate on moving in with Kim and hopefully I'll have my head on straight when it's time to make the tougher decisions." Kevin knew he meant the matter of his pops house but he just clapped his back.

"We'll be there for you when the time comes."

"Thanks Kev."

"Anytime brother." They hugged. "Come on, let's get you back to Burgess and all squared away." Adam accepted Kevin's help to move the boxes into her place and they enjoyed some pizza and a few beers before Kim and Adam were alone again.

"So I heard Hailey came to help you today?" He asked as they sat comfortably on the couch, their legs intertwined on the coffee table.

"Yeah, I was surprised too."

"Probably as surprised as I was to see Jay at my old place."

"So these two huh?"

"That's what I was thinking too." He chuckled. "Jay stayed coy about that but I could see it on his face."

"Good for them then. Jay deserves some happiness since Erin left him."

"Absolutely. And you deserve some happiness too darling." He ran his fingers through her hair.

"I'm happy as long as I have you next to me, no matter what life throws our way."

"I'm looking forward to it." He kissed the top of her head. "I want to come back to intelligence." He blurted out.

"Are you sure?" She knew how tough these last few weeks had been on him.

"I want some normalcy Kim, at least until I have to deal with my dad's house."

"I'm behind you no matter what you decide."

"All I'm missing is Voight to sign off on it."

"Come see him in the morning and talk to him, he's got your back too."

"I know." They stayed on the couch a bit longer before going to bed, leaving the un-boxing for another day.

Kim went up the stairs of the district and was called up by Platt before she even had a chance to avoid her.

"How's boy wonder doing?" Kim had always known that the desk sargent had a soft spot for Adam.

"Why don't you ask him yourself." She casually threw over her shoulder, skipping up the stairs to the bullpen, leaving the two for a one on one. Platt looked at the door as Adam came bouncing up.

"Ruzek."

"Sarge." He didn't know what she had in mind but he was playing it safe.

"Get your ass in that office." She pointed to the vacant office behind him, he was in for it now.

"Something wrong sarge?" He asked as she closed the door behind them.

"I wanted to see how you're doing." Adam looked at her and already knew that feeding her some bullshit wouldn't work in his favour.

"Taking it one day at a time." He admitted, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed protectively over his chest. "Some days are better than others."

"A little birdie told me you and Burgess have been shaking it up."

"We got everything moved yesterday." He couldn't help the smile on his face. He had slept a first good night in a while with her wrapped in his arms. "I swear I don't know what I did to deserve that woman Sarge but I wouldn't be standing here today without her."

"Than don't screw it up would ya."

"Don't plan on it sarge." He pushed himself from the wall and smiled at her. "Now I just need to get back out there and things will slowly get back to normal."

"Don't let me stop you then." She watched him go and patted his back on the way out and Adam went up the stairs two at a time to make it to Intelligence.

Everyone was at their desk, nothing having picked up yet and he smiled at Kim and nodded to the rest of the unit before he went to knock on Voight's doorframe.

"Ruzek, take a seat." Adam closed the door and did as he was told and he took a deep breath before talking.

"I know I've been all over the place these past few weeks but I want to come back, I need to come back."

"Are you sure you're up to it? I know there's a few big decisions left to take."

"I stopped running from people who want to help me and now I just want my life back sarge." Voight knew how hard getting back from losing someone was, having gone through it with Camilla but he had known that day was coming but Adam had that sprung on him and he had done good considering what had been thrown at him.

"If you tell me that you can do your job with your head clear, get your ass on that chair."

"Yes sarge, I'm good to go." Voight saw genuine joy on Adam's face as he smiled.

"Get your ass on that chair then, shouldn't be long before we got our work cut out for us."

"Thanks boss." He got up and left the small office, a giddy smile on his face. One look at him and everyone knew what that meant, everyone pulling him in for a hg and welcoming him back.

"Alright, let the man work, we just caught one." Voight announced from his office.

Adam had been back a few days already and everyone was now sitting at their desks, catching up on some paperwork. The day was so slow they they had spent most of it scratching on paper and when Adam's phone rang on his desk, the sound startled him. He didn't recognize the number but answered in case it was something important.

"Adam Ruzek" He said in to the phone, Kim's eyes trained on him. "Yes, I'll be there." Kim knew right then that he had just gotten the call he was dreading the most, the one from the bank.

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 **A/N: So I decided in this chapter, in addition to our Burzek that I wanted to show a bit more of the others. I know Jay and Hailey should be together and that's how I decided to put them in here. Also, I've loved Adam and Platt's scene so much this season that I put some interaction between the two in there too. We should get way more of it on the show and I'm going to try to do exactly that on here. I hope you guys liked it and please take a few seconds to review before you go, I love reading your thoughts. - Sarra**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: Alright so this chapter I wrote it on the car ride back from New York and it basically wrote itself. I know that a grief process is lengthy and Adam won't come out of this quickly, I wanted to showcase his friendship with Kevin and Kevin's friendship to Kim and how they help Adam through all of it.**

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Adam spent a few minutes on the phone before hanging it up, Kim's eyes on him the whole time. He finally looked up at her and he motioned for her to follow him in the break room. He leaned against the counter and his eyes were trained to the floor, Kim taking a seat on the couch. She watched him as he chewed the inside of his cheek, looking for something to say. She wouldn't push him but she let him put his ideas in order before talking.

"That was the bank."

"And what did they say?" She finally stood and came to face him, putting a hand on his arms.

"They want me to come in to talk about the house. They said that they need me to sign some papers to make everything official."

"What are you going to do now?"

"God I don't know Kim." He sighed, finally looking her in the eye. "I don't know what I want to do about that house. I mean we just moved in together for crying out loud."

"You don't have to rush into that decision Adam." She smiled at him. "How about I come with you and we take this one day at a time like we talked about?" He nodded in agreement and she gave him a quick kiss against the corner of his mouth.

"Let me go talk to Voight."

"I'll wait for you at my desk." She watched him go and locked eyes with Kevin who had a clear view of the room.

"Hey boss." He poked his head in the Voight's office. "Burgess and I got a quick errand we need to run, we'll be right back."

"Sure, we'll keep you in the loop if we catch a case." He said and returned to what he was doing.

The drive to the bank wasn't long but they had stayed quiet. Kim let him with his thoughts but as soon as they were in front of the building, she linked her fingers with him and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"You got this baby." He nodded and he guided her inside. The woman at the front desk made them wait on the couches but Adam was far too nervous to sit so he took to pacing as a coping mechanism.

"Mr Ruzek." Adam looked up. "Mr Trenton is ready to see you." Kim knew what he was doing as he motioned for her to walk ahead of him but if it would settle him just a bit to use her as a sort of shield between himself and the elephant in the room, she was okay with it. She knew this was a huge step in the process but as long as he leaned on her they'd be fine.

"I'd like you to meet my girlfriend Kim Burgess."

"It's nice to finally meet you Miss's Burgess."

"Thanks." She smiled at him. Obviously Adam's dad had talked about her in a meeting or the other

"I've drawn up all the papers to make the transfer of property in your name. I want you to stop me if there's anything that you don't understand and we can go over it."

"Thanks." So for next thirty to sixty minutes, Adam was explained in detail how the process worked and if he didn't have the words to ask what he didn't understand, Kim did and as always, he was more than thankful to her for that. Mr Trenton put the last paper to sign in front of Adam just as Kim's two way came to life. Kim answered as Adam signed the last paper and Mr Trenton promised to put them all in the mail to he could keep everything filed away.

They met up with the team at the corner of Washington and Wabash with a fresh new murder case and that took them away from the 21st and Adam's thoughts for a fews hours. It was somewhat late when they managed to go home.

"I have an errand to run darling, I'll meet you back home?"

"Sure?" He kissed her lips quickly and was out of sight at the bottom of the stairs of Intelligence. "Can you make sure he's okay?" Kim asked Kevin as their eyes locked.

"Yeah, I got him." They both knew where he was heading so Kevin stopped at a corner store and grabbed a six pack before making his way to Bob Ruzek's house.

He found Adam on the front steps, nursing a beer, a six pack sitting next to him.

"Looks like we had the same idea." Kevin raised the pack of beer and smiled at his friend as he took a pull of his beer.

"Take a seat." He let Kevin take a spot next to him before talking again. "Kim sent you?"

"Maybe." They shared a smile and Kevin uncapped a beer for himself. "So what you doing at your pops house?"

"You mean my house?"

"So it's official now?"

"As of two this afternoon, yeah."

"So what's the next step?"

"That's where I draw a blank man." He sighed. "I have no idea what I want to do with this place. What I do know is that I need to go home and see my girl and talk about it."

"And why did you come here?"

"I thought I could get a bit of clarity."

"How's that working out for you?"

"I got nothing more than I had weeks ago. I have some great memories in that house Kev but I don't know if I can live with the memories of my dad in there."

"You don't have to decide this minute what you want to do with it. I'm sure there's a lot of shit to clean out in there before you do anything else. Burgess tell you what she thought about it? I mean the two of you moving in together is a big step."

"That's exactly it. We just moved in together and I gotta dump that kind of decision on her shoulders? We haven't even talked about the future let alone that kind of future."

"No need to rush that either dog, she ain't going anywhere."

"I don't plan on letting her."

"So get outta here and go spend some time with her." Kevin clapped him on the back and picked up the beers before they both left.

Adam walked into the apartment and all the lights were dimmed, a light coming from inside his and Kim's room.

"Hey." He walked into their en-suite to find Kim in the tub filled with bubbles, a glass of red wine next to her.

"Hey." She smiled up at him. "How'd it go with Kevin?" He leaned down and kissed her lips.

"Good. Thanks for sending him my way."

"He help?"

"You know what would help?"

"No?"

"There some place in there for me?" She smiled, liking his idea very much. She watched him as he stripped his clothes off and she moved forward enough for him to slip behind her, the bubbles now enveloping them both.

"So tell me, what's going on in that head of yours?" She let him take a sip of wine and get his thoughts in order.

"Do you ever think about the future, kids?" She was leaning against his chest and smiled.

"I do."

"With me?"

"Of course with you, you goof." She giggled. "I don't spend evenings in a bath with guys I don't want to have it all with. Where is this coming from?" She moved a bit to be able to see his face.

"Lots of things going through my mind." He kissed her forehead. "I don't think I'm quite ready to get rid of my dads house for one."

"You don't have to make that kind of decision yet baby. And we don't have to force us in any direction right now, we know how well that worked the first time around."

"I'm not going down that path again darling but I think of the future and I want to have a house with you and kids and maybe a dog I just don't know if I want that in my dad's house or somewhere else and I know I'm putting lots of pressure on you because you didn't ask any of this."

"Maybe I didn't ask for any of this but I love you and we're in this together so whatever decision we make, we'll make the best one for us regardless." She was now straddling him in the tub, their quiet intimate moment interrupted.

"I love you Kim Burgess."

"I love you back." She smiled seductively and kissed him, now feeling in a frisky mood.

"Show me how much yeah?" The look in her eyes was all he needed to know that he was going to spend a night with his girl that would rock his world. It started in the tub and soon they were out of the water, Kim drying him off and wrapping a towel around her body. He pushed her wet hair out of her face and she jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his waist and letting him take her to bed. He laid her down and undid her towel as he kissed her, exposing her body to his but she wouldn't have that. She flipped them around and spent the evening giving her man all the attention he deserved. She rode him until they were both blissfully spent and they fell asleep together, their bodies exhausted but their batteries recharged, ready to face another day.

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 **A/N: So here you have it. This is a big decision that Adam needs to sort out for himself but Kim will help him because it's the kind of thing that you can't force and it's a time sensitive matter on a persons feelings but Adam will have a lot of help from his family. I hope you guys enjoyed it and please take a few seconds to review before you go, your thoughts are important. - Sarra**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination**

 **A/N: Thanks for everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter, it means a lot to me. So this chapter we're still going to see Adam struggle with all the decisions that the loss of his father created. There's going to be a little bit of struggle and chaos still but the sun should come out of the clouds soon, Enjoy.**

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It had been a few weeks since Adam's meeting with the bank manager and he was now sitting at the kitchen table with a variety of legal documents, trying to wort them out.

"Need some help with those?" Kim placed a mug of coffee in front of him and kissed the top of his head.

"I just need some sort of filing system and a place to store them really." These papers were important and he didn't want to lose them.

"I have an old filing box that's been sitting in my office that you can use." She left to get it for him and less than thirty minutes everything was set. "Any other plans for today?" She took a seat next to him and sipped on her coffee.

"I was thinking of going to the house and try to make some sense of all the chaos."

"Want me to help you?" She wasn't sure if he wanted to do it alone or not.

"You don't have to but I'd really like that."

"Let me go change." She smiled at him. The drive was quiet for the most part but Adam talked when he felt the need.

"I'm not even sure what to do with everything."

"You can bring what you don't want at goodwill. I'm sure there's a lot they can do with it."

"Thats's a good idea." And the rest of the ride was quiet again. Adam parked behind his father's truck and he looked at it a few long seconds before he got out of his own truck. "I need to put his truck for sale."

"I can clean it up for you if you want."

"Nah, it's good, I'll do it." She figured she would be greeted with some resistance when it came time to help him out but she hoped it wouldn't be too hard to depart himself from the things. They walked up the stairs and Adam took another moment before walking inside. He hadn't stepped foot in the last time when Kevin had found him on the front porch. Kim linked her fingers with his and gave his hand a gentle squeeze, giving him the strength to unlock the front door. The walked through the mud room and directly in the kitchen

"Where do you want to start first?" She questioned.

"Here is good." She knew he was struggling, his short answers a confirmation of that. She let him go as he opened ever single cupboard door. The pantry was easy to clear. The opened boxes went and everything else was boxed up to bring over to a shelter. Where Adam was having trouble was with the silver wear and dishes, some he remembered from his childhood that were still good.

"I'm sorry this is so hard for you." She wrapped her arms around him from behind and kissed between his shoulders.

"It wasn't always easy and pops did his best. There's so many damn memories in here." He banged his hands on the counter out of frustration and Kim simply held onto him tighter.

"We don't have to do everything today Adam, we're in no rush." She wanted so badly to take that pain away from him.

"It's not going to get easier Kim." The sadness was briefly replaced by anger. She took a slight step back but kept her hands on him.

"I know baby but I'm here if you need help, lean on me, get angry at me, cry it out, I can take it, it's okay."

"You shouldn't have to." He turned around to face her, tears in his eyes and anger on his features. "He left me with a big fuck you and I have deal with all of this shit." He yelled.

"It's okay to be angry Adam. It was unexpected and you weren't prepared for any of it." She cupped his cheeks.

"I just want it all to go away, I want to forget about everything." He pulled her to him and his lips were on hers in a second. He pushed his tongue past her lips and guided her so she now had her back against the counter.

"Adam." She panted between two assaults on her lips, Adam sitting her down on the counter and running his hands under her shirt. "Adam stop." She finally managed to get her head to start working, her body simply too weak to push Adam away.

"Please, I need this." He tried kissing her again but she placed both hands on his chest, preventing him from kissing her again.

"It's not going to help you forget Adam, you know that I'm right." She pushed his hands down from under her shirt.

"But pushing me away isn't helping either." He finally fulled away from her out of frustration. "I'll be outside if you need me." He walked away before he said something stupid. Kim jumped at the sound of the front door slamming shut but she took a few deep breaths and hopped off the counter. She pulled her cell out and called the one person who could have some words of wisdom for Adam. "Hey it's Burgess, Adam could really use your help. Yeah, we're at the house. Thanks a lot."She watched Adam through the kitchen window as he moved around driveway, trying to get everything he needed to clean his dad's truck. Kim decided that she would tidy around and make a few loads of wash, figuring she would fill her time while Adam blew off some steam.

Adam walked outside, slamming the door shut behind him. He knew deep down that Kim was right to push him away, his motives not in the right place but he needed to escape the chaos and uncertainty and she had always been a good source of distraction to calm him and wanted no part in it. So he decided to get his distractions elsewhere. He walked in the garage and went in search of something to get his dad's truck in order. He dropped everything unceremoniously next to it and then grabbed plastic bag to empty the contents of it. Some things he kept on the side and other he just threw them out. Then he got the vacuum cleaner and started working on cleaning the inside.

Five minutes had passed when something caught his eye from the side. He turned the vacuum off and looked who it was. Voight's black Escalade stopped in front of the house and he watched him walk towards him and he cursed under his breath. He knew this was Kim's doing and he didn't want to get the lecture that was surely coming.

"Ruzek." Hank smiled at him.

"Boss." He let the vacuum fall on the ground and crossed his arms defensively over his chest. "Whatever you came here to say you're wasting your time."

"Just came to see how you were doing." He pulled his hands out of his pocket and raised them in a sign of peace offering.

"I'm pretty sure Kim told you that already."

"Kim didn't tell me anything. I just know what you're going through and I came to see if you wanted to talk."

"It's not a secret there was bad blood between the two of you, I doubt we have anything to talk about." Hank could see what he was doing but he sure as hell wasn't going to let him get away with it.

"We might have not seen eye to eye on a lot of things Adam but he was damn proud of you and so am I."

"I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be proud of me right now. " He dropped his arms to the sides and leaned against his dad's truck.

"What makes you say that?" He leaned against the truck next to him and slipped his hands in his pockets again.

"No one knows about this but one of the first times I came back here after he died, when we didn't know anything about his wishes. I was starting to feel like it was hopeless but then I found an envelop with my name on it. I was so damn scared to read what was in there but you know the one thing he asked me? What he knew for sure?"

"That he trusted you to do the right thing."

"He wanted me to find Kim and get her back, to fight for her and never let her go."

"He was a wise man." Hank chuckled.

"Well I haven't exactly been an upstanding man with her lately." He looked towards the house, knowing she was in there, trying to sort some things he knew that he couldn't just yet.

"She get's it Adam and I know for a fact that you're probably mad as hell with yourself for acting like less than a man with her but whatever you're feeling, you'll keep feeling that way for a while."

"I just want it to stop hurting and I want to go back to my life and just move forward."

"You have to go through all of the emotions that you're feeling right now Adam, you can't hide from them." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. What he was about to tell Adam he hadn't breathed a word of it to anyone since Camille's funeral. "When Camille died, I fell to my lowest. I had lost the one person I loved more than life itself and I didn't know how to deal with it. I could barely take care of Justin and I kept pushing away every person who tried to help. But you know who didn't give up on me?" Adam had an inkling about the answer but shook his head and he waited for his sargent to spill it. "Alvin and Trudy." He sighed. "If it hadn't been for them, I would have fallen in the abyss and drowned in it."

"And what did they do to pull you out of it?"

"They never gave up on me and refused to let me push them away. I see them in Kevin and in Kim."

"I'm just afraid that she'll get tired of it and walk away."

"Than you don't know Kim Burgess as much as you think you do." Voight clapped his hand on Adam's shoulder.

"I know she's pretty amazing but I'm know she had her limit too."

"You know Adam, you don't have to be married for better or worst to start. Give yourself a chance to grieve and your friends are there to have your back no matter what, never forget that."

"I won't." He extended his hand and Voight shook it.

"My door is always open if you need anything."

"Thanks Sarge." He watched him go and he finished working on the truck while trying to figure out how he'd apologize to Kim yet again.

When Kim was done with what dirty clothes she found, she washed the bed linens in both rooms and she hung the blankets on the cord outside. That's when she noticed Adam and Voight leaning against his father's truck, talking. She watched them a few seconds in silence and then returned inside to continue some cleaning. She refused to throw anything out but trying to put a bit more order would no doubt help Adam down the road. She was in the living room when she finally heard the front door open and close.

"Darling?"

"In here." She yelled, continuing what she was doing. Adam walked towards the centre of the house and found Kim putting order in his dad's living room. He knew she didn't have to do that but Voight's words were stuck in his head.

"Thank you." He leaned against the doorframe, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"No need to thank me baby." She folded a blanket on the back of the couch and smiled at him.

"I do." He took a deep breath and let it out. "For still putting up with my crap and my roller coster emotions from the beginning."

"It's going to take much more than that to push me away Adam Ruzek."

"For better or for worst."

"That's right." She grinned, walking towards him. "I'm glad he could help." She ran her hands against his arms.

"You have a crystal ball I don't know about?" He pulled her to him.

"Maybe." She winked at him. "So what do you want to do next?"

"I want to get out of here." He looked over her head. "I'm not quite ready to do this."

"I can work with that. So what do you want to do?"

"Grab a lunch and relax with you at home."

"I can work with that too." She kissed him. "Now come on, I'm starving." She pulled him with her and let him walk through the door, locking behind them. Adam put the car in reverse and he and Kim went on with their day, just the two of them.

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 **A/N: So I've been toying with the idea of using Voight more in this story because I've seen a relationship evolve between him and Adam this season (although not always healthy) and I want to be able to work with it and create another someone he can lean on. I hope you guys liked it and please take a few seconds to review before you go, your thoughts mean a lot to me. - Sarra**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: Thanks to everyone who left a review on the last chapter I really appreciate it. So I'm giving you an extra long chapter this time and I hope you guys will like it. It's lighter and covers a lot of ground.**

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The following week, Kim didn't bring the subject of emptying the house again and she felt Adam be a little more at peace, a little more like himself. Kim woke up and it was still dark out. She blinked away the sleep from her eyes and looked at the clock. It was two in the morning and when she turned on her side, she realized that Adam wasn't in bed.

"Adam?" She called in the dark. When she didn't receive an answer, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and slipped her robe on, padding towards the living room where the table lamp was on. "What are you doing awake?"

"Couldn't sleep but I didn't want to disturb you." He extended his hand to coax her towards him and she settled herself on his lap.

"You should have woken me instead of sitting here all my yourself." She ran her fingers through his hair.

"We had a big shift darling, you need the rest."

"So do you." She countered. "Want to share what's on your mind?"

"It's fine." He smiled at her.

"Adam." She reprimanded.

"Thinking about the future, you, the job."

"Kids?"

"I'd like that I'm just scared to screw that up."

"Why would you screw that up?"

"We're both in Intelligence and we work crazy hours. That's bound to screw up a kid."

"Well how about we cross that bridge when we get there?"

"Sure. How about we go to bed?"

"I'm okay to stay up if you want to talk more." She wanted him to know that he could come to her for anything.

"I'm good when you're with me." He ran a hand against her leg. "Calmer."

"Glad that's the effect I have on you." Her smile was soft and she just enjoyed being close to him like that without the stress of the job on their shoulders.

"How about I make you exhausted?" He pulled her leg from under her and made her straddle him.

"Well there's nothing like a little exercise to help you sleep." She giggled before she kissed him. Adam stood up and she wrapped her legs around his waist before he brought her back to their room and they made love before falling asleep all tangled up together.

Adam was the first to wake up with the alarm and he turned it off so Kim could have a few extra minutes while he showered. He slipped under the warm stream and ran his fingers through his hair. He was hoping for a quieter shift than the day before and his mind was thinking so much that he didn't hear the door open and close, Kim slipping her hands around his waist.

"You didn't wake me up." She whispered into his back.

"You looked peaceful and I wanted to let you sleep a bit longer."

"And miss all of this?" She moved her hands lower but Adam stopped her.

"You're playing with fire darling." He turned around in her arms and pusher her hair back, leaning down for a kiss.

"I like playing with fire." She pushed him against the shower wall as they kissed, her hands roaming all over his body.

Kim finished tying her boots and she and Adam were out the door.

"This morning was fun." Kim got out of Adam's charger, giddy.

"I'm definitely getting used to that." Adam walked behind her and laughed at her exuberance.

"You're in a chirpy mood." Platt deadpanned as the two made it to the top of the stairs.

"It's a great morning Sarge." Adam laughed at Platt's annoyance with so much excitement so early in the morning.

"Well it's about to get not so great." She called after them while they made it to the palm scanner.

"Does she always need to be a buzzkill?" She looked back at Adam as they made it to the top.

"A case just popped." Kevin moved past them and sat at his desk and both Adam and Kim made it to their desk quickly as Antonio ran point on the case. It was a teenage male, GSW and it was what hit the most home. Antonio gave them the basics and Kevin and Adam left to go grab a suspect that they had caught on a pod, the rest of the team reaching to their CI's and the system for any motive for the attack.

"So you and Burgess looked happy this morning." Kevin looked at Adam that was riding shotgun.

"Good morning man, that's it." if Kim had been any other conquest he would have spilled the beans but she was Kevin's best friend and he didn't think Kevin would appreciate the details.

"Happy to know the two of you are in a good spot."

"Great spot. If only I could figure out how to go through all the crap to be able to empty my dad's house."

"No rush there but if you need some help, I'm there."

"Thanks Kev." They made it to the scene and walked inside the pool hall. It was dimly lit and everyone seemed to go on their day without a care in the world.

"Marcus Haynes." The man looked up from where he was leaning, ready to take a shot.

"What can I do for you officers?" He replied casually and let his pool stick go, getting a green one in.

"We got a few questions to ask you."

"I ain't answering shit without my lawyer."

"Why make this more complicated Haynes? We just want to ask you a few questions." Adam really didn't want to use force on the guy but he would if he had too.

"Cuz I ain't got nothing to say to you."

"I didn't want to do this but we're going to take that to the district." Kevin pulled cuffs from his belt but one swing of his pool stick and Adam was off balance and Kevin broke into a run after Haynes.

"Damn it." Adam cursed and started running too. Haynes went through the back door and into the alley and Kevin wasn't too far behind him. Adam was a few meters behind as he unholstered his gun. It took them a few long minutes to catch up to him but Kevin was cuffing him as Adam made it to them. "Whatever happened to just answering our questions."

"Sure as hell would avoid us having to run." He pulled up Haynes to his feet roughly. "Running never ends well for you guys." He pushed him roughly back through the alley and they made it around the pool hall to bring him back to the car and he pushed his head down and shut the door before they returned to the district. They walked him up the stairs to intelligence and Jay sent them to interrogation room one and they cuffed him to the table before they left, Antonio and Jay doing the interrogation.

"We still on for tonight?" Kevin asked Adam as he sat back down on his desk.

"Ah shit, I totally forgot. Kim and I rode in together and I just realized I have some paperwork that I still gotta do." It had totally slipped his mind.

"That's alright, I can bring Burgess back." Kim walked in that exact moment.

"Bring me back where?" She looked at Adam quizzically.

"I completely forgot I had a boys night with Kev and I got a shit ton of paperwork to do so Kev offered to bring you back home when we're done with this case."

"That's perfect, Kev owes me some quality best friend time, right Kev?"

"Absolutely." They shared their little handshake, Adam smiling at the two of them.

"It's settled then."

"Alright so he just gave us an alibi." Antonio handed the paper to Kim. "It checks out, we kick him."

"But we saw him on the pod, facial rec did a positive ID." Adam countered. No way they would drop this so easily.

"We'll find whoever did this I promise." Antonio hated dealing with kid related cases but they were the ones that mattered the most to be done properly.

"Dawson, I found something." Upton calls from behind her computer. "You remember Russel Timmins?"

"Yeah, I remember. We popped him for aggravated assault in a corner store. What about him?"

"He made a phone call to a Darren Walker about an hour before."

"Any relation to the boy?"

"He's his uncle." Now they had a potential motive.

"Retaliation?"

"And Haynes alibi checks out." Kim finally got the info she was waiting for.

"Kick Haynes, get a location and let's suit up." Everyone grabbed their coats and they were down in the roll-up, waiting for Jay to return so they could go.

The bust was over and done by sundown and Halstead and Upton were the first to leave, heading to Molly's.

"You ready Burgess?" Kevin stood from his desk and grabbed his keys.

"Be right there." She grabbed her coat and stopped at Adam's desk. "See you at home later?" She leaned down and kissed him.

"As soon as I finish up here." He winked at her and she kissed him again.

"Later Ruz." The bumped fists and they were out the door. Adam was the last in the bullpen and the lights were dimmed.

Kevin kept stealing glances at Kim as she looked through the window.

"What's on your mind girl?"

"Nothing, life's good, real good."

"How's our boy doing?" He asked as he parked the car in front of Kim's building.

"He's good." She looked back at him as the walked up the stairs. "Well better but we haven't really talked about anything that had to do with the house. It's what triggers the anger and sadness."

"I told him I was there if he needed anything. The same goes for you too." He leaned against the wall as she unlocked her door.

"Thanks Kev." She made a b-line for the fridge and grabbed two beers. "I'm glad that he has you."

"You know I got your backs."

"I don't know how I would do it without the team." She ran her hands through her hair. "I'm trying to be supportive."

"Hey hey." Put his beer down and pulled her in a hug. "You say the word and i'm there." She had been there for him time and time again with Jordan and Vinessa over the years and it was time he returned the favour. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Just trying to keep my head above water sometimes." He pulled her away from him and she had tears in her eye. "Sometimes he's so unpredictable."

"He do anything to you?"

"No nothing like that but sometimes he goes from sad to angry on a dime and I'm not always sure which version of him I'll get."

"And when he gets angry?" Kevin hated hearing about this and he had seen Adam angry a few times and it wasn't always pretty.

"He gets angry at his dad, at the world. Last time I had to call Voight for help."

"He talk to him?"

"Yeah, last time we were at the house. I figured Vought's the best to get through him because he's been where he's at." That day in court had left them reeling and given a better insight in Voight's past and she figured he was the best to help.

"It helped a lot yeah and I haven't brought up the house since so he's been good since."

"And today seems like a good day."

"Great day actually." She smirked and Kevin didn't need to know more.

"Good to know." He laughed. "To better days."

"Better days." The took the party to the living room and they had fun catching up while they waited for Adam to come home.

Adam was starting to be on his last shred of patience. He didn't know how he had become so far behind in his paperwork but if he didn't do most of it tonight, he'd drown in it. His light was the last one on in the bullpen and he surprised himself to think about his conversation with Kim on the couch in the middle of the previous night. He was thankful to have her back in his life and he suddenly thought harder of a future. He'd love to have a mini Kim running around the house, pulling at his heartstrings or a boy he could teach to become a man worthy of a woman like his mother but then his mind turned dark and he wondered if his job in intelligence wouldn't hinder that plan. He had seen the toll it had taken on Antonio and Al's family life and they were the only ones on the force. He and Kim both were putting their life on the line every day and he didn't know if that was the best situation to bring kids into that mix.

"What are you still doing here?" He was startled out of his thoughts by Voight who came from the roll-up stairs.

"Trying to catch up on all of this." He waved his hand around at the mess on his desk.

"Didn't look like it just now." Voight leaned against his office doorframe.

"Sorry boss, my mind was somewhere else."

"Something you wanna talk about?"

"Nah I'm good boss." He put his head back down and started scribbling on the page but his brain wouldn't let him concentrate. "Actually." Adam looked back up as Voight took a seat behind his desk. He waved him in and Adam took a seat on the couch. He was nervous and he wasn't sure why.

"What's on your mind?"

"This job." He sighed. "Being parents."

"It takes work Adam." Voight cut his thoughts. "When I lost Camille, it was tough. I was suddenly alone to raise Justin and it was tough in the beginning but I had some help from people around me and that helped a lot."

"Was there ever a moment where you thought you wouldn't come home, that Justin would be left without a dad?" Adam had all these questions and fears dancing around in his head and he was trying to sort through them among other things.

"I try not to think about that." He mused. "I went in every day with a clear head and the idea that was going home every day and the rest is something that I couldn't control and I learned a long time ago to let that part go. Your dad, he made a choice, some would say safer but not really."

"He did his damndest to be there for every game and every event."

"The beat gives you a steadier schedule but the danger is still there, just differently. I know for a fact that he did everything he could to come back home in one piece, knowing he was all you had left" He assured him. "You have a great partner Adam and the two of you are a great team." He smiled at him. "Don't overthink this Adam, things will fall into place all by themselves."

"Thanks Sarge."

"Anytime." Adam stood to leave. "Go home, spend some time with Burgess, the paperwork can wait."

"Thanks boss. Night."

"Night Adam." Voight watching him as he went to grab his coat and close his computer before he was out the door.

Adam went up the stairs to the condo and could hear laughter coming out of their door and he smiled at the fact that Kim was having some quality time with Kevin and that she didn't have to coddle him and his emotions. He slipped in un-noticed and watched the two. Kim was dancing to dance dance evolution on the play station and Kevin was laughing at her attempts.

"I never knew you could dance so well." Kim jumped about a foot high at the intrusion.

"Oh my god, when did you get here? She almost fell over herself, making Adam laugh out loud.

"Just now darling and I'm regretting getting this all on video." Kevin was holding his sides on the couch

"Ah man you should have seen your face."

"Some friend." She pounded her fist into his shoulder, clearly un-phasing him.

"Best friend's privilege, gotta make you squirm some."

"Finished with your paperwork?" She bounced his way after her heart was beating normally again.

"Not quite but Voight told me it could wait." He kissed her. "You guys want a beer?" She moved past him towards the fridge.

"Yeah." The two said at the same time, sharing a fist bump.

"How is she?" Adam looked behind him as he took a seat on the couch.

"She's good, a little overwhelmed but good."

"Why didn't she tell me?" Adam sighed. "I want her to be able to come to me. Aren't we supposed to do this together?"

"You are but sometimes the two of you need to lean on the rest of us. Don't sweat it Ruz, you guys will be just fine."

"Speaking of leaning on you. I was wondering if you could come with me at the house to help clear it? I was hoping to give Kim a break from it all?"

"Yeah, I'm down."

"Thanks man, I really appreciate it."

"Don't sweat it."

"Here you go." She handed Adam his beer over his shoulder and Kevin his before she came to plop down between the two of them, leaning into Adam's side.

"You up for some dancing?" Kim looks at Kim laughing.

"Oh no, I'll leave it to your cute ass." He tickled her sides and she squirmed against him.

"You're terrible Adam Ruzek." She laughed and suddenly Kim was in his bubble and Kevin knew what that meant.

"That's my cue to go." Kevin put his beer on the table and stood. "See you two lovebirds in the morning."

"Night Kev." Adam raised his fist and they pumped them together before Kevin leaned down for a kiss on Kim's cheek. He let himself out and Kim straddled Adam.

"Finally alone." She kissed him neck, running her hands through his hair.

"I won't complain." His hands were kneading her hips. "Any plans for tomorrow?" He closed his eyes, trying to contain himself.

"Keeping you in bed all day?" She asked hopefully.

"Mmm, I'd like that but I have a surprise for you."

"I hate surprised Adam." She whined. "Tell me."

"Let me just grab my coat." He pulled himself slightly from her and reached over the couch and pulled an envelop out of his pocket and handed it to her. "For you."

"The spa?" She read the envelop head.

"You deserve to have a break and I know that it's been hard on you."

"Adam." She didn't really want to get into it.

"Why didn't tell me you were having a hard time with everything?" He pushed a strand of hair behind her shoulder.

"Because I didn't want to add to your worries, you have enough to deal with right now."

"I told you yesterday that I'm all in that means that if you can take all of my crap, you need to let me help you with yours, no matter what."

"I'll try to remember that."

"And I'll remind you. Come on, let's go get some sleep, it's been a long day."

"Really long." She pulled herself off his lap and headed to their room, Adam not too far behind.

Kim was the first to wake up but she was so comfortable in Adam's arms that she stayed there and slipped one leg between Adam's and she started peppering his chest with kisses.

"You're up early." He said with his eyes still closed.

"I had a great night of sleep." She mumbled in his chest.

"It wasn't too bad." He smirked. "I'll go make breakfast."

"Don't, I'll do it." She pulled herself away from him but he held her close.

"Just a few more minutes darling." He naturally released her a few minutes later and Kim got out of bed and Adam watched her go, clad in one of his t-shirts and panties. He enjoyed a few more minutes in bed before he went to join her in the kitchen.

"You didn't open your surprise last night." He wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Was there something else in there?" She turned abruptly in his arms.

"Maybe." He leaned down to kiss her. "Let's get you fed and dressed first." He chuckled. Kim finished preparing breakfast and they mostly ate in silence, Kim occasionally making excited sounds and Adam laughing at how cute she was being. He watched her as she went to change and he followed close behind, slipping a pair of jeans on and a t-shirt.

"Can I open it now?" They interrupted by the doorbell.

"You can open that first." SHe bounced towards the door and was surprised to find Nicole on the other side.

"What are you doing here?"

"I have a date with my sister." Kim turned around with the widest smile, Adam smiling at her with his arms crossed over his chest.

"That's my surprise?"

"I thought you could use some girl time."

"Thank you babe." She hugged and kissed him.

"It's the least I can do." He winked at her. "Make sure she relaxes please." He wrapped his arm around Kim's waist and smiled at Nicole.

"I will. Come on little sis, let's get this show on the road." Kim kissed Adam one more time and took her jeans jacket and the envelop on the table and they were out the door, bumping straight into Kevin.

"You in an awful hurry." Kevin already knew what Adam had been planning.

"Got the best boyfriend in the world." She turned around and winked at Adam. "I got a girls day with my sister." She linked her arm with Nicole's. "What are you doing here?"

"Helping my boy out at the house." Kim locked eyes with Kevin and smiled at him. Maybe Kevin was the solution to it all. "Have fun ladies."

"Count on it." Nicole smiled and pulled Kim away so they could get their day started.

"You ready to roll?"

"Yeah, let's go." Kevin had offered his truck and he had taken some boxes with him and some tape. He was hoping that they'd be able to make some kind of progress.

The boys parked in the driveway and they both got out, Kevin grabbing the boxes. "You manage to put a sign up for your pop's truck?" Kevin asked as they walked inside the house.

"Not yet." He sighed, dropping the keys on the kitchen table. "I wasn't in the best head space last week but I managed to get it cleaned from top to bottom."

"Alright. I might have someone who might be looking for something."

"Thanks Kev, I appreciate it."

"So where first?"

"I was thinking we could start with the bedrooms, clear out the clothes to give to charity."

"Sounds like a plan." Kevin lugged the boxes upstairs and set everything on the side of the door. He let Adam set the pace and he boxed everything he was handed. "Thanks for helping me do this Kevin. It'll take some weight off of Kim's shoulders."

"Don't sweat it, I got you both." He clapped him on the back. "So what are you going to do with this place once you've boxed everything up?"

"I don't know Kev, I really don't." There was so many things running around in his head, his latest conversation with Voight at the centre of it.

"This place would sure be fun to fill with little homies." He smirked, making Adam smile in spite of himself.

"I've been thinking about that lately." He admitted. "With Kim last night, with Voight today. I just want to move forward, have it all with Kim."

"Than dive in and take it all in. The two of you deserve it after everything you've been through."

"From your lips to god's ears."

Adam knew that they still had a lot to work through still but Kevin was helping him today. They managed to box up most of the things from his dad's room and the two rooms on the top floor and half of the kitchen that Adam didn't want to keep. Some appliances he would sell, other's that he had grown up with and was fond of he would keep. They enjoyed a couple of beers on the back porch as the day wound down and when Kevin dropped Adam off, he walked in and found Kim curled on the couch with a book.

"Hey baby, how was your day?" She looked up from her book as he leaned down to kiss her.

"It was good, we got a lot done. Dropped a few boxes off already." He sat on the couch and pulled her legs on his lap.

"Glad Kevin could help you."

"How was your day? You girls had fun?"

"Yeah, thanks again for that."

"No need, it's nothing compared to the support your giving me darling." He ran a hand against her leg and they smiled at each other. "And I've been thinking a lot today."

"About?" She set her book down and gave him her full attention.

"You, me, kids, the future."

"You want to keep your dad's house?" She smiled at him.

"I think so but I know that we need to talk about that more."

"We don't." Kim always knew deep down that when he had his thoughts a bit more aligned that

he'd want to keep it and she had been okay with it.

"You didn't ask for this Kim and I know it wouldn't be your first choice." He was rambling.

"Adam, stop." She moved on the couch so she was straddling him, cupping his cheeks between her palms. His beard was soft under her hands and she pecked his lips. "I want a life with you and I don't care where. I know it's hard but we can make the house ours and you get to keep your memories and we can make our own in there."

"I love you." Adam's eyes were brimmed with tears but they were happy tears this time.

"I love you too." She pressed her lips softly to his and they enjoyed a tender kiss. They stayed like that with Adam's arms wrapped around her body and her cheek on his heart, listening to his heartbeat. She could feel his body relax in a way it hadn't so far and she was hopeful to get him back to his normal self soon and they would plan their future together.

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 **A/N: I finally made it to the end. This is longer that I wrote in a long while and finally Adam's thoughts and emotions are aligning together. Please take a few seconds to review before you go, I love reading your thoughts. - Sarra**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter, it means the worls. Now I know that I haven't been updating this story lately but I was in a funk and didn't know where to guide them next but Finally got my epiphany and here it is.**

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A few weeks had passed and Adam had slowly made progress in his dad's house. Kevin had helped a lot and Kim helped as much as Adam would let her. Most of the house was totally clear and whatever was left sat in the garage. Adam walked into the house and walked through the empty rooms and stopped in his dad's office. It was the only room he couldn't set foot in and clear, the memories too overwhelming.

"You okay?" Kim wrapped am arm around his waist and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Not really." he sighed. "I have no idea how I'm supposed to go through all the stuff in this room."

"Than don't." She simply said. She knew how hard he had worked on the rest of the house.

"I can't leave it like this forever." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and held her close.

"Maybe not but we're in no rush." They could easily work on the other rooms while Adam made a decision so she didn't want to push him.

"You're right." He admitted. "How about we start with the master bedroom?" He finally said.

"Sure." She smiled up at him. They had talked about it a few days back and Adam wasn't sure what he wanted to do.

 _"How's it going at the house?" Kim asked from her perch on his lap._

 _"Most of the big furniture is out and what I decided to keep is in the garage. The only thing I'm still struggling with is his office."_

" _You don't have to do that right away babe, you still have plenty of time, the house isn't going anywhere." She insisted._

" _I just want us to be able to start moving stuff in there soon."_

" _I know that you want to move on with your life Adam but you're in no rush." She ran her fingers through his hair._

" _Our life Kim. I want us to move on with our lives." He linked his fingers with hers and smiled._

" _Still there's no rush." She finally straddled him. "We have a bed that's waiting for us." She tried to get his mind off of everything for just a little bit._

" _About that." He brought them back to his own personal turmoil. "I'm not sure which room to take in the house for the master."_

" _I know it's hard and it's ultimately your decision but the one with the en-suite should be ours don't you think?" She knew it would be hard for him to be in his father's room so that's why she wanted to let him be the one to make that decision._

" _I'll think about it." It's the best she could do right that moment._

"I think you were right about the master." Adam said from behind her as they walked upstairs.

"I just thought it made sense." She looked back over her shoulder as they made it upstairs.

"We wouldn't want little Ruzek's barging in while I make love to their mom now would we?" He kissed her neck.

"We wouldn't no." She giggled as they walked inside the room. She was happy that he was having good thoughts today. "So what did you have in mind?" They stood in the middle of the empty room.

"I thought we could strip the whole bathroom and do something simple, put in a soaked tub for that hot body of yours." He pulled her close to him and dipped down to kiss her.

"Only if you join me in that tub from time to time."

"I can totally get behind that." He pushed her towards the en-suite and lifted her so she was sitting on the counter top. "Thanks again for being by my side." He cupped her cheeks gently and smiled at her.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else." She promised, smiling back at him. "Maybe Kev can help you with the bathroom? I doubt I'll be any use in there." Sure she was physical but not that kind of physical.

"And I'm sure you could get Hailey and Nicole to help you with the mess that's the yard." His father had never been good with plants in general, a reason why the house had been devoid of them.

"I'm sure we can work something out."

"How about we go shopping for paint and bathroom ideas, we have time." They were free all day and Voight always avoided calling them in as much as possible when they were off, knowing Adam had so many things to think about and do.

"Yes please." She jumped down the counter and giddiness rooted ground in here. "This will be fun." Adam wasn't sure he shared her enthusiasm but if they wanted to get somewhere they had to start somewhere. After taking the exact measures of the rooms, the first stop was Lowe's. Adam followed behind Kim and had a feeling it would be a long trip, Kim looking at everything around her.

"You ever going to make up your mind darling?" He chuckled as she took yet another article in her hands.

"There are so many options in this place." But she could see it in his eyes that he didn't share the same excitement she did. "You okay?" She places a hand on his arm.

"I am, I just don't know where you take all this excitement, it's just a room." Typical male answer.

"It's our room Adam."

"I know but I'm good with whatever." He assures her.

"With whatever?" She eyed him suspiciously.

"I'd live with rainbows and unicorns if that's what makes you happy." He pulled her to him and kissed the top of her head. She hated that he was feeling like this but she wanted the house to be a common project.

"Adam." She really wanted him to be happy in the house with her.

"I'm serious Kim. As long as whatever future I have is with you, I'm good." He promised her.

"Alright how about we make a deal?"

"I'm listening." He smirked.

"How about you help me with the paint colour, the hardware for the shower and that soaker tub for my hottt body to soak in and I'll handle the rest?"

"Deal." He leaned down and captured her lips in his to seal their agreement. They spent the next couple hours picking colours and making an order for the rest and they ended up leaving with gallons of paint, two lamps and Kim's head filled with ideas.

They returned to the house and Kevin's car was waiting for them. Kim looked at Adam with a worried glance and he shrugged, not sure what was going on.

"Wasn't he supposed to be out of town today?" Kim walked towards the back yard, the rest of the doors locked.

"Yeah, he was but he didn't say more." He confirmed from what Kevin had told him the previous night. The two moved cautiously towards the back of the house and when they walked through the fence, they could hear more than one voice, two of which weren't Kevin. It was only when Kim set eyes on the two others and emitted an ear piercing squeal that Adam knew who it was.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes." Kim lunged herself in Kevin's arms under Adam's laugh.

"When did you get back." They clapped their hands and then each other's chest.

"Just now dog. Had to drive these two back and put them to work." Kevin had told both Vinessa and Jordon what had been going on and they asked to help in any way they could.

"Does that mean?" Kim didn't want to get her hopes up but Kevin sounded like a happy big brother right now.

"They're back for good. Voight confirmed it and all the paperwork is filled."

"Finally things are looking up." Kim couldn't stop the tears that were pooling in her eyes at the good news."

"No tears Burgess." Kevin hated seeing his best friend cry.

"Happy tears." She laughed as she pulled both Jordan and Vinessa to her. "Glad to have the two of you back." She whispered in their ears.

"So what did I miss while I was gone?"

"We went shopping for the master bedroom." Adam said dramatically and laughed.

"And I volunteered your help with it." She patted Kevin's shoulder.

"I'm down."

"What about me? How can I help?" Vinessa asked with as much excitement as Kim had displayed in the store.

"How about you help me with the shopping?" She smiled at Kevin's younger sister and winked at Adam.

"Thanks Kim."

"Come on, let's go inside, it's time for lunch." Adam ordered pizza for everyone and the boys talked constructions while Kim and Vinessa were hunched over a computer, doing some shopping.

"You know she's gonna bust the bank right brother?" Kevin was watching the girls and they were having far too much fun for his taste.

"Nah, it's all good." Adam waved him off. Kim had always been reasonable and he trusted her to do her thing. I want her to be excited about this."

"Are you?"

"It's hard but this is our house and I want it to reflect it so I'm trying. We picked a few things out together for the en-suite, let me go get them they're in my car." Kevin was happy for his friends and he was glad to be a part of it. Adam returned and they talked a bit more about it before Kevin and the kids left, leaving Kim and Adam alone once again. They returned back to their place after locking up and Adam pulled Kim to him as they lay in bed later.

"I can't believe Jordan and Vinessa are back for good."

"I haven't seen Atwater so happy, it'll be good for him."

"And what could make you happy?" She straddled him.

"I got everything I need right here." He ran his hands along her arms.

"I'm serious baby." She cupped his cheek, running her other hand through his hair. "Tell me what would make you happy?"

"To call you my wife." He pecked her lips. "I'm tired of running and I'm tired of everyone else dictating my life. The one good thing that came out of all the pain I'm feeling is that it brought you back to me." Kim's eyes were already watering.

"Adam." She choked out.

"I love you Kim and if there's one thing that my father was right about is that I should never let you go again. So what do you say Kim Burgess? Will you marry me and help me be a better version of myself for the rest of our lives?"

"Yes." She smiled through her tears. "Yes I'll marry you." She blinked away her tears through her smile and her lips found his in a tender kiss. Adam pulled her closer, his hands running against her back as she wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.

"Yes?" Adam wasn't sure if he could trust what his ear were hearing. He had no ring and no grand gesture to show for it, just the two of them in bed on an ordinary night.

"Yes." Kim chuckled and kissed him again. "So, can we tell everyone this time or do we have to hide again?"

"No hiding darling, everything out in the open this time." He smiled at her excitement. "I need to get you a ring." He suddenly came to the realization that he had done it all wrong.

"No you don't." She kissed him. "No ring, no rush this time. We're good the way we are now and when we're ready than we'll be ready but it won't be the same as before."

"I love you."

"I love you too baby." She kissed him and Adam pulled her down to him and they celebrated their new engagement well into the night.

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 **A/N: So Adam and Kim finally get engaged and take a huge step forward in their life. I really hope that you guys liked it and please, please take a few seconds to review before you go, I really want to hear your thoughts about it - Sarra**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: Thanks to everyone who left a review on the last chapter, it means the world to me. Sorry for not updating this one sooner, binging Arrow is to blame but here is the next one.**

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Kim stirred the following morning and her senses were assaulted by scents that were distinctively Adam's. His arm was wrapped around her waist as her back was settled against his chest and that made her smile. They were engaged and life was looking up. All they had left was to settle everything with his father's house and they could finally have their happy ever after.

"Morning." The sound of his voice vibrated against her neck, sending shivers all over her body.

"Morning." She smiled.

"You're happy this morning." He kept his voice a whisper.

"Well we got engaged last night." She turned in his arms. "What isn't there to be happy I ask you?"

"Oh I'm happy." His lips left a ghost of a kiss against hers. "Happy that you took me back. Happy that you're moving in with me. Happy to be your fiancé. Plenty of happy to go around darling." He kissed her soundly this time.

"I like the sound of all of that." She wiggled her leg between both of his as she deepened the kiss. "I can't wait for everyone to find out. Do you think they'll be happy or are we these can't get it together to make it down the isle couple?" She was suddenly nervous about telling their friends about their engagement.

"Kim, darling?" She tucked her head under his chin. "We're not the same people we were then and they know that so you shouldn't be worrying so much about it, they'll be happy for us."

"I hope so." She mumbled in his chest.

"Come on, help me in the shower so we don't get late to work."

"Sharing a shower would only make us late."

"You'll have to show some restraint than." He whispered in her ear, doing nothing to help the fanning flames in her gut.

"You're the devil Adam Ruzek." She clamoured as he slipped out of bed in all of his naked glory. She only received a throaty laugh in response as she pushed the sheets off her body and followed him. He was already under the running water and she slipped in behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and kissing his spine. "I'd be late every day if I could spend more time with you like this." He takes a hold of her smaller hands in his much larger ones and gives them a squeeze before turning around in her arms and cupping her cheeks.

"God I would too." He leaned down for a kiss and she raised herself on her toes to be matching in height to him and they enjoyed a languorous kiss before they parted and washed each other before getting out of the shower, dressing and heading to the district.

"Do you think they'll know we're hiding something?" Kim asked nervously as Adam parked in his spot of the back lot.

"If you keep acting like that darling they will." He chuckled. She was nervous, he could see it in her eyes. "All you got to do is make it past Platt and we're mostly in the clear."

"Oh god Platt." Kim was suddenly mortified. "We'll never make it past her, she'll definitely know something is up."

"Kim, babe, breathe for me." He pulled her to him when she got close enough. "You've fooled the dragon lady before, you'll be fine." He leaned down to kiss her, knowing it would relax her, it always did.

"I'm okay, let's go in." She pulled away from him and they went around the building and up the stairs as they talked until Platt spotted them, eyeing them suspiciously.

"You two. Over here." She motioned for them to come closer.

"Morning Sarge." Adam tapped the counter as his arm snaked around Kim's waist, giving her hip a gentle squeeze.

"Aren't you two in a good mood today."

"It's a good day Sarge." Adam confirmed he was actually good, Platt questioning him every morning he came in since his father passed.

"Something's different." She eyed them suspiciously.

"Different how Sarge?" Burgess tried to play cow but the older woman could see right through it.

"You two are engaged." She finally said.

"How'd you know?"

"You're all glowey Burgess and I haven't seen Special Sauce with such happy eyes in a long time. A woman knows these things."

"He asked me last night." Kim could no longer contain her smile.

"Don't screw this up Ruzek."

"No chance in hell." He smiled, pressing a kiss to Kim's temple.

"So, show me that ring Burgess. Don't keep me waiting." Kim could see the excitement in Platt's eyes and she knew she was about to crush it.

"I don't have one." Platt blinked a few times, trying to wrap her head around what she had just heard.

"What do you mean you don't have one?" She hissed at a dangerously low lever, sending murderous glares Adam's way.

"I don't need a ring Trudy." Kim whispered back, no trace of annoyance or anger in it. "We don't need to rush down the altar, I won't do the same mistakes." Adam let Kim say her own piece, knowing this was all her. He wanted nothing more than to put his love for her on display but he was playing it by ear this time around and the two of them where on the same page. If that changed in the future, he would continue going with it. "We have more important things happening right now, like getting the house ready to be able to move in it together." They hadn't really talked to anyone about this other than Kevin so it was nice to actually be able to share that kind of news also.

"Okay, I can do with no ring and a house." Platt was talking to herself and Adam laughed at the expression on her face, only to receive a death stare from her mere seconds after. "If you need help with anything, you tell me and Randy and I can help." Platt had grown softer with this Intelligence team and they had become quite close over the years.

"Thanks Sarge, we really appreciate it." Adam was glad that Kim had the woman in her corner, god knew he didn't deserve her kindness after what he had put Kim through during their first relationship.

"Come on darling, we don't want Voight to have our hide for being late." Platt returned to her desk duties without another word and the couple went up the stairs, Kim's hand in the palm scanner so they could go up.

"I think that went okay." She whispered back at him as they reached the top of the stairs.

"Yeah, if you're not me. Did you see the eyes she gave me when you said there was no ring?"

"Serves you right." She winked at him as she walked back towards her desk.

"Thanks for having my back." He laughed, placing his coat on the back of his chair.

"Always baby." She winked at him, the rest of the team slowly tricking in. Adam was the first to see Kevin and he wanted to know how the first night with Vinessa and Jordon had gone so he motioned for him to follow in the break room for some much needed coffee.

"How does it feel to finally have them back home with you?"

"It feels great, you have no idea." He sighed. "But I just couldn't stop Vinessa from talking about helping you and Burgess in the house."

"I'm glad she's excited about helping out. On other news." Adam looked around to make sure there were no prying ears, Kevin looking at him weirdly as he did so. "I asked Kim to marry me last night and she said yes."

"That's amazing." Kevin pulled him into a tight bear hug as his voiced boomed in the small space, everyone hearing it and coming to see what was going on.

"Uh, someone want to admit to something?" Jay grinned as he pointed between the two, Hailey slapping his arm to make him stop. Adam looked at Kim who was shaking her head at them, knowing what news Adam had shared with his best friend and partner, nodding for him to tell the rest of the unit.

"Actually, Burgess and I have some news to share with everyone." He smiled at her as she winked back at him.

"She's pregnant?" Hailey was suddenly all giddy for her friend, looking at the two for some kind of confirmation.

"NO." Kim admitted with a chuckle. "We're not there quite yet. Actually, Adam asked me to marry him last night." Kim was now smiling from ear to ear.

"That's amazing." Hailey pulled Kim in for a hug. "I'm happy for you guys."

"Do not screw this up." Jay pulled Adam in for a hug before he let the room for Antonio and Hailey to do the same.

"I'll make sure he doesn't." Kim pulled out of Jay's embrace.

"We'll have more time to celebrate this good news once we catch the bad guys." Voight's voice called them all to attention but smiled in Kim's direction in a silent offer of congratulations.

The day was eventful to say the least as both Adam and Hailey were on the other end of a shootout but the team being so close knit, they managed to round up everyone before any real damage could be done to the team and the neighbourhood and Kim was clad to have everyone back in one piece as they returned to the roll-up.

"What do you guys say we head to Molly's tonight?" Kim looked at the rest of the team.

"I'm down for it if the alcohol dulls the pain I'm feeling right now." Hailey took a head physical hit to her shoulder and rolling it to make it more comfortable in the joint was doing nothing for her.

"And we have a lot to celebrate tonight, right Kev?" Kevin had yet to share his own good news with the rest of the team.

"Yeah." Kevin took a deep breath as everyone looked at him, Voight smiling at him to tell him it was alright. "Vinessa and Jordan came home yesterday."

"Don't play Atwater." Antonio knew how much it had hurt him to send his brother and sister away, doing what was best for their safety above his own comfort.

"I ain't lying. They are back with me for good this time."

"First round is on me." Antonio shook Kevin's hand and patted his chest, a smile on his lips. "Today is a great day." They all agreed as they put their gear away.

"You joining us tonight Sarge?" Hailey inquired.

"I might just make an appearance." Voight chuckled as he went up the stairs back to his office. If Voight showed up at Molly's, it was always a rare occurrence given the history he had with Matt Casey but tonight he could make an exception on the account of all the good news that was going around. Everyone went in different directions agreeing to meet up at Molly's at ten for celebratory drinks.

"Today was a great day." Kim wrapped a towel around her chest.

"Good day." He wrapped his own towel around his waist, displaying the forming bruise on his ribs from pushing Hailey out of the way while they were getting shot at.

"How do they feel?"

"Tender." He winced as he moved around their room. "Nothing a few drinks won't help. I'm fine, promise." He could see the worry in her eyes.

"Okay." Kim Burgess was not that kind of girl and they were able to separate their personal relationship when they were on the job so she trusted that he was telling the truth. They changed and they were back out of the door with Molly as their destination. When they walked through the big oak door, the found Kevin already sitting at a table and Adam hailed Herrmann for some drinks.

"What can I get you guys tonight?" Adam ordered three shots and three beers while they waited for the rest of the unit to arrive.

"To new beginnings." Kevin toasted.

"To new beginnings." Adam and Kim echoed before emptying their glass. The rest of the team minus Voigt joined them. They went threw beer and more shot until their Sargent made an appearance.

"Hey boss, about time." Adam yelled over the noise, already intoxicated with one too many shots.

"One too many drinks Ruzek." He patted his cheek with a laugh, the young officer already three sheets gone.

"Just a little bit." He put his thumb and index finger close together.

"What's one more right?" Voight hailed Herrmann over, giving him the order for everyone. "This should cover tonight." Herrmann's eyes bulged out of his head at the wadd of cash Voight was handing him.

"And then some." He smiled.

"We got lots to celebrate." He promised. Herrmann returned with their order and Voight raised his glass, everyone doing the same. "I know this has been a tough year but it's safe to say that things are finally looking up. So this is for those who we lost." He clapped Adam's shoulder. "And for family finding their way back to us. To family." He toasted and the whole team echoed the same. They spent the rest of their evening celebrating Adam and Kim's engagement and Vinessa and Jordan's return home as a family.

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 **A/N:Phwwww...I finally managed to finish this one. I wanted to show Intelligence as a family as I've grown to see them so I hope you guys like it and please take a few seconds to review before you go, your words always mean the world to me - Sarra**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: Thanks to everyone who read and left a review on the last chapter. Thanks to everyone for being so patient with me while I work to get back on track with my writing after these pas few difficult months concerning some family problems.**

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Adam was hunched over the toilet, his insides on fire and his skin clammy. He had thrown up for the fifth time and Kim was snickering behind him.

"This isn't funny." He grumbled.

"It sort of kind of is." She laughed loudly this time.

"I hate alcohol."

"I told you to stop drinking it but your ass refused to stop so here we are." She turned around to get him a glass of water and some Ibuprofen. "You better hope to God we don't have a case that pops up otherwise your ass is fried."

"From your lips to God's ears." He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand when he was sure to be safe from puking another time and he stood taking the glass Kim was handing him and he swallowed the pills in one go.

"What do you want to do today?" Her voice was muffled by the fact that she was now in the kitchen making them something quick to eat that Adam could keep down.

"Sleep." He grumbled. "And then start working on the house, our room to be more precise."

"Are you sure that you'll be up for that?" She turned to see how he was doing but he was already in the kitchen with her.

"Yeah. The sooner we start the sooner we can get moved in." He had a clear idea of what he needed to get done for them to move in while still fixing it up the way they would both want it.

"Ok. Eat up and then it's bed for the two of us, morning is almost here." They had managed to stay up until closing time so the night would probably end up being a short one. Adam ate in record time and they were both in bed and asleep in minutes, exhausted.

Kim was the first up and she changed quickly, grabbing an apple and making herself a cup of coffee before leaving a note for Adam to meet her at the house. She wanted to get a start on the yard as soon as possible because it was a total mess. She stood in front of the said mess twenty minutes later and sighed. Adam had kept the appearance as clean as he could while they decided what to do with the house but there was still so much to go. She opened the shed and started cleaning in there to know what they had going. She ended up throwing a few things to the side to be taken out knowing they wouldn't need them and started cleaning it up. The yard was a good size and she wanted to clear it of all form of clutter so they could make a space to entertain people. She knew Adam would love to have their friends over in the summer after long days on the job and since no one had actual houses, Molly's was always the meet-up point for the unit. Kim wanted something easy to maintain due to the fact that they had busy lives so she started pulling out all forms of plants and flowers, only leaving the tree that was at the very end of the yard.

"You're here early darling." Kim was startled out of her focus by Adam's voice.

"Yeah, I wanted to get a jump on the yard." She leaned up and kissed him. "How'd you sleep?"

"Great up to the point I realized my girl wasn't in bed with me."

"Sorry." She smiled sheepishly.

"Thanks for breakfast and coffee."

"Anytime." She smiled at him. "So, when is Kev showing up?"

"He said he'd be there as soon as Jordan and Vinessa were enrolled into school, they would start next week."

"That'll be good for them, see the friends they had before they left."

"Yeah, life's good." He kissed her again. "Are you good here or do I need to call reinforcements to help you out?"

"I'm good until Vinessa shows up. I promised her we'd see together what could be done with the kitchen, bring it up to date."

"Maybe Kevin has a point about you breaking the bank." He chuckled, prompting her to chuck her glove at him.

"That's what happens when you bring a woman in the mix, we have expensive taste." She winked at him. But it was just banter really because they had already talked about what they wanted to do with the kitchen.

 _"Adam." Kim called from her perch on the kitchen counter. "Did you ever get a thought about what you wanted to do with the kitchen?"_

 _"I don't need much, you have something in mind?" He leaned against the door frame and looked at her, a pensive look on her face._

 _"Well I figured we could simply paint the cabinets and I'd really like to look into a much larger sink with an industrial dish hose." She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, something else on her mind but she didn't want to over step it by wanting to change too much to the house Adam had grown up in._

 _"You don't even need to convince me about what you're thinking. We are definitely getting rid of this ugly ass flooring and putting in some ceramic flooring in here." Kim let out a breath at Adam's spat._

 _"Ok." She let go of the breath she was holding in. "I was scared that you'd think I was trying to change everything."_

 _"You know I value your opinion Kim." He walked in and settled himself between her legs, running his hands against them._

 _"I know it's just that you grew up in this house and sometimes I'm scared of erasing good memories with my ideas and I don't want that." She ran her right hand through his hair, her left hand slowly working the knot in his shoulder._

 _"I know my dad did his best but this house is filled with good and shitty memories. I want to make new ones with you so if that means gutting every single room of this house then so be it."_

 _"Ok." She smiled at him._

"Alright so if you don't need me, I'll go start emptying the master bedroom as much as I can until Atwater gets here."

"Alright. I'll come get you when it's lunch time." She kissed him before he disappeared into the house, leaving her to the yard again.

Adam went up the flight of stairs and leaned against the door jamb, his arms crossed over his chest. They had given up most of his father's clothes when they had done the first clean-up but now Adam had to decide what to do with the furniture. He wanted to give or sell as much as he could but his dad was a creature of habit and this furniture set was stuck somewhere in the 90's so the decision to just throw it out was an easy one to make and would make Kim's life easier in the remodeling if it wasn't in the way. He grabbed the tool belt he had left in there the last time and started working on the furniture. He set the mattress aside to move outside when Kevin would get there, not wanting to hurt himself from bringing it down on his own. The night tables were easy enough to bring down alone and he put those on the side of the road with a free sign and he returned to what he was doing. Once he was done there, he decided on working on getting the bathroom undone but Adam realized quickly that he needed Kevin to finish the job. He decided to try heading into his father's office, hoping today might be a good decision day for him. He opened the door and took a seat at his father's desk. He just sat there, the same way he did each time that he set foot inside the room. He decided to open the main drawer, pushing things around, finding an envelope at the very bottom of it. He pulled some pictures of him growing up. One taken when he was a young boy, his dad's bulletproof vest on him, a large smile on his face.

"You never told me about the first time you wanted to be a cop." Adam smiled at the sound of Kim's voice, turning to find her leaning against the door frame.

"I think that the first time I ever wore his vest, I knew." He chuckled. "It was a fight every time he had to go to work. But it was really when I did that ride along with him that the idea was cemented in my mind."

"You look happy." She walked inside the small space and took a seat on his lap.

"That was a good day." He admitted.

"Tell me more about those good days." She ran her fingers through his hair.

"This." He pulled another picture from the stack. "Is from the final football game of the season, I think it was about 2000." Adam has taken a knee and the ball was tucked against his chest.

"I didn't even know you played football."

"There's so much stuff we don't know about each other." Pictures were an odd occurrence in Adam's apartment so it's not something they had shared together and sitting here with her, it was something he knew they had to change. "I want to fix you some dinner tonight, here."

"Adam, we don't have to do that."

"We do." He sighed. "I realize that we barely know anything about each other except from what we know since we met and I want to tell you more about my childhood and to get this right this time, we need to do it."

"Okay." She smiled at him. "Dinner would be nice." She kissed him.

"Yo Ruzek, Burgess, you in here?" Kevin showed up with a large box of pizza in hands.

"Yeah, in the office." Adam called out to Kevin.

"There you are. I tried calling your cells." He walked in with Vinessa in tow. "Wasn't sure what you wanted so I took our usual." He told in reference to his and Adam's favorite pie.

"We've been going through some pictures." Kim smiled at him. "Are you ready to help me out in the kitchen Vinessa?" Kim pushed herself off Adam's lap, his hand gliding against her outer thigh as she did.

"Yeah but Kevin says I have to keep an eye on you so you don't spend all of Adam's money."

"Ha ha, very funny Kev." She deadpanned.

"Just keeping it real with you." He shrugged with a chuckle.

"I'm the only one that's keeping Adam from spending all of his money is me." She patted his cheek. "So, I am going to take this." She pulled the box out of his hands. "And I'm going to talk paint and ceramic with Vinessa and leave you men and your muscles to take care of the master bathroom." She pulled Vinessa with her and they went to the kitchen.

"I'm coming for that pie Burgess." He called over his shoulder as Adam chuckled.

"So, what you doing in here?" It wasn't a secret to Kevin was struggling with what he was going to do with his dad's office but seeing him in there with Burgess was hopefully a good sign.

"Going through his desk. Found a stack of pictures and decided that I was going to make dinner for Kim here tonight, thought we could reconnect." He put the envelope back where it was and closed the drawer.

"Good to know. Ready to get the demolition going up there?"

"Yeah, let's do this." The two grabbed a slice of pizza and shoveled it down before they spent the next couple of hours in the bathroom upstairs while the girls were looking at samples for the kitchen. When they parted, it was around four and both Adam and Kim went to shower before heading back to the house. He dropped Kim off before heading to the store to get the food he would cook, wanting it to be a special, quiet evening for the two, giving Kim a break from everything. He had found a new recipe online that he'd been meaning to try and figured now was the perfect time for it.

"So, what are you up to tonight?" Kim asked as she hopped on the counter while Adam pulled the food out of the bag.

"Red Wine Beef Ragu with some wine and some overdue background check." He smiled at her.

"Sounds perfect." She leaned to her side and kissed him. She watched him cook while sipping on the glass of red wine Adam had handed her, looking forward to find out more about what made him the man that she loved so much.

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 **A/N: Okay so I know that this chapter doesn't have a huge impact but I wanted to set the next chapter where Adam is going to go through his dad's office, which is the room that gives him a higher level of anxiety. I hope you guys liked it and please take a few seconds to review before you go, your thoughts mean a lot to me - Sarra**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

 **A/N: Thanks to everyone who left reviews and those who have been asking for an update un the past few days. Alright so this chapter sort of just came to me and I thought it was a good way to have Kim and Adam have some time just the two of them.**

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Adam finished cooking while Kim watched intently as Adam did so. He had been more of the take-out type when they dated before and she was enjoying seeing another side of him.

"I know you want to ask some questions." He took Kim's empty glass and set it on the counter before grabbing her by the waist and setting her back on her feet on the firm ground.

"I didn't know you could cook so well." She filled her glass again and handed Adam a beer.

"After Al died." He choked up, not able to look at her. "I decided that I needed to be better so I tried new things." He took a long pull and Kim took it from his hand as he picked up the two plates he had prepared for them and brought them to the table.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." They had been in different places back then and although they had leaned on each other some, she hadn't been there as much as she wished.

"I appreciate all the times that you were there. I know it wasn't easy for you too." He took her hand in his. "Al was your partner."

"And he was your mentor. I'm glad that you had him to guide you." She ran her thumb against his knuckles.

"Too bad he wasn't able to get me to take my head out of my ass sooner before he left." He mused.

"He'd be proud of you Adam." She smiled at him and he returned the smile.

"Thanks." He took a swig of his beer. "How do you like it?" He watched as she took a first bit.

"It's really good." She licked her lips. "You'll have to teach me a few tricks."

"You already know how to cook Darlin'."

"You mean like that spaghetti-o can that I never ate?" She smirked at him, remembering the first night he had come at her door.

"What can of spaghetti-o?" He winked at her. It was the first time that they admitted their feelings for each other and it had been the first time they had slept together.

"All I remember is the breakfast that came after I tired you out." His tone was teasing and his eyes held a sparkle of memory.

"I do agree that it was pretty epic." She chuckled. She had pulled his shirt over her body and she had made them some waffles from scratch topped with whipped cream, some eggs and bacon, a bowl of fruit already prepared in the fridge.

"So was the distraction if I recall correctly."

"So was the distraction." She echoed, laughing candidly. They enjoyed the rest of dinner and Adam pulled a container of chocolate chip ice cream and two spoons for desert and they ate half of it before he had to confiscate Kim's spoon.

"I want to show you something." He stood and extended his hand to her.

"Adam, you cooked already." She complained playfully.

"Humor me." He moved his fingers to coax her and she placed her hand in his. He helped her to her feet and he took the direction of his dad's office. He had found a box in the cabinet that he had yet to go through but he wanted to be able to share it with her.

"What are we doing in here?" She stopped as they stepped over the threshold of his dad's office. She knew it was still a sore spot for him and she didn't want to pressure him into talking about it if he wasn't ready.

"I found a box the other day and I think it could be fun to look through it together." He released her hand and went for his father's cabinet.

"Pictures?" She didn't want to sound excited but she had secretly wanted to see pictures of Adam as a little boy for the longest time.

"Yeah, I know you love those." She threw her a lopsided grin over his shoulder.

"You were not complaining when you were fighting me to get into the box of pictures of me as a chubby five year old." She sat down on the floor next to the door.

"Five year old Burgess is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life." He took the box and took a seat next to her. She curled herself next to him, pulling her knees to her chest as he pulled the cover off of the box and wrapped his other arm around her shoulder.

"What do you have in there?" She pulled one of Adam as a baby in his father's arms.

"That was the day they brought me back home." His voice was wobbly. "Dad always said that was the best days of his life."

"You were an adorable baby."

"I was an awkward baby." He pulled another picture out of the box and Kim couldn't stop the laughter that escaped her lips. Adam had barely any hair and his ears were separated from his head.

"You're not laughing so much now are you?" He had moved his hand at the nape of her neck, grazing her skin with the tip of his fingers, Kim's body reacting to Adam's touch.

"You've definitely grew up to be quite hot." Her voice was wobbly from the effect that he had on her.

"Things did get better." He pulled a picture of him doing tricks on his skateboard. He was maybe ten or eleven and he had grown a full head of hair.

"And floppy." She chuckled.

"It was the grunge years." He looked at her offended but it only made her laugh more. "Dad used to whip out his video camera every time he could and follow me around."

"I'd like to see those someday." She said softly. "You look really happy."

"I went everywhere with that thing." He remembered. "We changed the wheels three times before it died on me."

"What you do? Cry like a girl?" She loved teasing him, keeping things light.

"Worked my ass off all summer delivering papers because he refused buy me a new one." He growled.

"Ten year old Adam was already lazy I see."

"Not lazy, just not ready to get the responsibility."

"What else do you have in there?"

"I have Spot." The picture was peaking above the others and he couldn't help the smile on his lips.

"Man's best friend huh?" She plucked the picture from his fingers. Adam was maybe four and he was on his back next to the pooch. "What happened to him?"

"I was seven maybe and he became sick but dad didn't have the money for all the treatments so he took him to the vet and I never saw him again."

"I'm really sorry."

"Maybe we can get one someday. I want our kids to feel happiness like I did when he was around."

"It's settled then, a dog it is."

"You're amazing you know that?" He set the box aside and pulled her into his lap.

"I'm not." She ran her fingers though his hair and settled them on his neck. "I just happen to love you, flaws and all."

"That's what I'm saying, amazing." He placed his hands on her wrists and pulled her closer, their lips brushing lightly. "How about we head back home?"

"Your ass not comfortable on the floor?" He kissed him back.

"It would be much more comfortable on our couch." He wrapped his arms around her chest as they made out.

"Much more comfortable." She breathed out as they parted.

"Come on." He let her push herself to her feet before he stood. "Shall we?"

"Do you mind if I take these?" She pulled the box of pictures in her arms, an idea forming in her head.

"Sure." He shrugged. Kim was smiling and that was all that mattered to him. She took the box and held onto it like it was precious cargo. He intertwined his wingers with hers and they locked up before taking his truck again and heading back home.

"Thanks for tonight." She placed the box on her kitchen table and pulled him to her. "I liked knowing a little bit more about you."

"I just want to do this right you know?"

"I know in my heart that this is the happily ever after we were meant to have." HE pushed herself on her toes and kissed him. "How about we head to bed? It's been a long day."

"Lead the way darling." He let her pull him to their room and he watched as she stripped down to her panties and shirt. She slipped in bed, the covers pooled at her feet as she applied lotion to her legs. She was even more beautiful when she was carefree and he thanked the heavens for bringing her back to him. HE slipped into bed next to her, propping himself on his elbows and simply watching her.

"Adam, babe, you're staring." Her smile lingered on her lips.

"What can I say, I can't help myself." He ran a hand on her smooth leg. "My girl is beautiful."

"And your girl is lucky to have you." She lowered herself on the bed and cuddled into him. They both knew that she wouldn't last long but they talked a bit until Adam's heartbeat lulled her to sleep.

"The only regret I have is not fighting for you sooner." He whispered in her hair as her breathing had evened out. He was content in just lying there with her in his arms. He watched how her body raised and fell in slumber and how her hand fisted his shirt gently. He watched her for twenty minutes before he slipped out of bed quietly, heading for his chest of drawers. He made sure she was still asleep before pulling the top drawer open. He slipped his hand through his shirts and found what he was looking for. He had found in at the bottom of his father's desk and he knew what needed to do with it. The only thing he needed to do now was bring it with Kim's old engagement ring to the jewelers to see what he could do with it. He wanted to make something special out of the proposal, this time in front of all of their friends. Adam jumped when she moaned in her sleep and turned to her side. He hid his mother's ring where it was before slipping back into bed with her. He needed to form a plan in the morning to be able to put his plan in motion.

Kim woke up first and Adam had his arm firmly around her waist. "Close your eyes darling, it's too early." He shifted more on his side, pulling her tighter against him.

"It's always too early for you. Why don't you sleep some more, I have a few things to take care of?" She kissed him.

"Mmm ok." He released his hold on her and shifted against her pillow as she slipped out of bed. She pulled one of his shirts on and popped three buttons closed and rolling the sleeves to her elbows, her hair in messy ringlets on her shoulders. She made herself a cup of coffee and grabbed the photo box on the table. She pushed her living room table to the far side of the room and settled herself on the floor. She opened the box and went through all of the pictures that it contained. She wanted to do something special for Adam as he continued to go through his grief.

Adam woke up a while later to a quiet apartment. He knew Kim said that she had a few things to take care of but he doubted she was already out at that hour. The only thing that made sense was that she was so concentrated on what she was doing. He pulled a pair of pants on and found a fresh t-shirt before going in search of her. He found her sitting on the carpet with a coffee next to her and pictures scattered around her.

"What's this?" He placed both hands against the back of the couch, a smile on his lips.

"Oh shi, Adam." She held the curse in as she stood up awkwardly and came to kneel on the couch in front of Adam. "How'd you sleep?"

"Someone was hogging the covers but other than that, the hot body next to me always helps me get some good rest." He leaned down to kiss her.

"Good, good." She smiled at him.

"So, what's all this?" He gestured to all the pictures on the floor.

"I just thought I'd get them organized and put them in some albums." Her smile and her heart brought tears to his eyes.

"Our kids and I are the luckiest people in the world." He cupped her cheeks and kissed her. She placed her hands on his as he deepened the kiss.

"We're lucky too." She mused as they pulled away. "Help me finish?"

"Absolutely." He walked around the couch and sat down with her and they spent the rest of the morning going through the pictures, Adam teller her stories with some of them, giving her even more insight into the man that she already loved so much.

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 **A/N: Alright so I wanted this chapter to be a bit more personal for the two of them and something lighter so I hope you guys enjoyed it and please take a few seconds to review before you go, I always love to hear your thoughts. - Sarra**


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